Every new Day
by kslchen
Summary: The old world is destroyed and the wounds caused by the great war heal very slowly. The survivors have to build a better world than before, but that’s easier said than done. Please read and review.
1. Every end brings a new beginning

**Every new day**

My version of how story could've developed after ‚Rilla of Ingleside'.

**  
Two things I wanted to say:  
1. I'm actually German and therefore English isn't my first language. Just to let you know.  
2. A big thank you to fragipanigirl, my beta-reader. **

_Disclaimer:  
I own nothing. The characters are property of LM Montgomery._

_Summary:  
The old world is destroyed and the wounds caused by the great war heal very slowly. The survivors have to build a better world than before, but that's easier said than done._

**Every end brings a new beginning  
**_The door bell rang, Rilla turned reluctantly stairwards. She must answer it–there was no one else in the house; but she hated the idea of callers just then. She went downstairs slowly, and opened the front door.  
A man in khaki was standing on the steps–a tall fellow, with dark eyes and hair, and a narrow white scar running across his brown cheek. Rilla stared at him foolishly for a moment. Who was it?   
She ought to know him–there was certainly something very familiar about him–  
"Rilla-my-Rilla," he said.   
"Ken," gasped Rilla. Of course, it was Ken–but he looked so much older–he was so much changed–that scar–the lines about his eyes and lips–her thoughts went whirling helplessly.  
Ken took the uncertain hand she held out, and looked at her. The slim Rilla of four years ago had rounded out into symmetry. He had left a school girl, and he found a woman–a woman with wonderful eyes and a dented lip, and rose-bloom cheek–a woman altogether beautiful and desirable–the woman of his dreams.  
"Is it Rilla-_my _-Rilla?" he asked, meaningly.  
Emotion shook Rilla from head to foot. Joy–happiness–sorrow–fear–every passion that had wrung her heart in those four long years seemed to surge up in her soul for a moment as the deeps of being were stirred. She had tried to speak; at first voice would not come. Then–  
"Yeth," said Rilla._

She bit her tongue. Her sweetheart back after almost four years of war and she had to lisp! Why did such things always happen to her, of all people? Life simply wasn't fair.

"What's the matter?" asked a slightly confused Kenneth. A few seconds ago she had declared that she was his and now she stood there, not saying anything.

"Nothing" Rilla turned her head and looked at the ground, "it's nothing."

Ken waited a few moments for her to do something, and then he reached out and gently turned her head towards him. "What's the matter?" he asked again, looking at her.

Rilla felt her cheeks heat up even more and after a while answered quietly "It's just... stupid. When I was a child I used to lisp and... well, now it only happens when I'm nervous or confused or something like that and..." She stopped and looked at the ground once more.

"...and you just lisped?" asked Ken, understanding what she wanted to say. Rilla nodded weakly.

For a few moments neither of them said anything, and then Ken burst out laughing.

"Don't laugh!" protested Rilla, not sure if she should feel embarrassed or relieved. Ken's laughter died away, but he couldn't help grinning, whereas Rilla kept her eyes firmly on the ground.

For a few seconds Ken simply looked down at her, then he tilted her head upwards again. His grin faded away to be replaced by a faint smile and one of his hands caressed her face, while the other pulled her closer. Rilla's eyes closed, as she tried to savour the moment, tried to save everything about it in her mind, so that she could remember it forever. To her it was perfect!

If it only hadn't been that cold... her eyes snapped open again, just as Ken leaned in to kiss her. He pulled away again, grinning and cocked one eyebrow.

"Oh goodness, what'd Susan say if she could see me right now? I guess I'm hopeless. How long have I let you standing in the cold?" she blushed again and almost rushed inside.

Ken shrugged and then followed her, still grinning. Even if she was a grown woman, right now she was as nervous as she had been four or five years ago, during the dance at the lighthouse or his last visit.

"Sit down" said Rilla after they had reached the sitting room. "Can I get you something? A drink maybe? Or to eat? Just tell me what you want" Rilla didn't let him feel her unsureness by playing the perfect hostess – or trying both.

"You ask me what I want?" Ken's voice was gentle and seemed deeper than usually. And even Rilla knew that he wasn't speaking about food.

"There is something I'm longing for since I left Canada four years ago" he continued softly and came up behind her.

"And that would be?" asked Rilla, her voice shaking, but thankfully no lisp escaped her lips. Ken's arms closed around her waist and she leaned against him, her head at his shoulder, her back against his chest. Ken bend forward to place one single kiss on her throat. He could feel her pulse racing. "A kiss" he whispered in her ear.

Rilla shuddered at his words, but, surprised by her own courage, replied softly "Well, we won't want you having to wait any longer, would we?" She turned in his arms so that he could bend down and capture her lips in a kiss.

"Any other unfulfilled longings?" asked Rilla playfully after they'd pulled away from each other.

"Plenty" he replied and grinned, "but for now I'm satisfied. And you?"

"Um..." Rilla pretended to think about while he lead her over to the sofa, "I only have a few questions I'd want to have answered."

"Just ask. But please, nothing about the sense of life, all right?" joked Ken, while he began to caress her cheek with one hand.

"Why didn't you write?" Rilla sounded serious, maybe even hurt, "You're in Canada for two weeks now and I never got a single line. Nothing."

"No idea, why?" Ken asked back. Rilla shook her head "Think me to be stupid, but no."

"How could I?" he picked up a strand of loose hair and twirled it around his finger, "how could I think you are stupid?"

"Because I am" Rilla responded, shrugging, "I am the stupid one in the family. I guess someone has to be it, so it's me. I'm the only one without ambition, the only one who never went to college and the only one who hasn't inherited one bit of Mum and Dad's intelligence. You get used to it after a while."

Ken pulled away just a bit to look in her face. "Do you really think, that everyone who doesn't go to college is stupid, Rilla-my-Rilla?" he asked.

"No, but..." Rilla began, but he put his finger on her lips and successfully shut her up by doing so.

"You aren't stupid or less intelligent, than the others. Besides you helped your mother during the war, you were there for her, or so I've heard, and that's worth more than some kind of study." He sounded so convinced, that Rilla simply had to believe him.

"I guess you are right" she stated, "but you still didn't answer my question."

"Ah, you noticed" he grinned, but turned serious immediately after seeing the expression in her face, "all right, I could say that I wanted to see you in person to tell you I was back, but that's only halfway true. The real reason is much simpler: I was afraid."

"Afraid?" Rilla seemed confused.

"Well, I was afraid of what awaited me here. Afraid that you could've fallen in love with another man or, worse, ill. Afraid that you'd be married or hate me. There are plenty of possibilities" Ken explained.

Rilla smiled: "I still like you and haven't fallen for another man. I'm not ill – at least not to my knowledge – and the only thing close to a wedding vow I've ever given to someone is my promise that I'd save my lips for you – which is what I did."

"Yeah..." Ken seemed lost in thoughts and Rilla decided to wait for him to say something.

"Do you know what saved me over there, when I couldn't see a way through?" he asked her and Rilla shook her head, even though she thought she knew the answer to his question.

"You" he said, "I have this memory of you, sitting on the terrace with Jims in your arms and looking so beautiful it almost hurt. That was the moment I realised that I love you."

Rilla smiled and bend forward to kiss him. "Me too" she whispered and Ken's arms tightened around her waist, as if he'd lose her, if he'd let her go.

"I missed you" Rilla continued, "and I was so worried that... that something would happen to you." He silenced her with another kiss.

Neither of them could say how long they sat in the sofa, talking or simply enjoying each others company, but after a (long) while, Rilla pointed out that the sun was going down.

"I have to go" Ken said, clearly unwilling to do so.

"Yes" Rilla nodded, "It's getting late." But neither moved. After a few moments he laughed and stood up.

"I'll be back tomorrow" he promised, while she stood up to say her goodbyes to him at the door. Outside he kissed her one more time and if anyone would have walked by at that moment, he or she would've been scandalised. Thankfully no-one did.

"See you" whispered Rilla after she had pulled away. "Sweet dreams, Rilla-_my_-Rilla" he kissed her forehead and they parted.

After Ken was gone, Rilla went up to her room to bring her diary up to date, but forgot about it entirely and stared out of the window, dreaming.

Upon realising it, she laughed softly, closed the diary and looked up to the picture of Walter over her desk.

"You know what, Walter? I'm in love. Really. And he loves me to. He said he did. You'd like it, I guess. He's one of your best friends. Ken. Have you ever thought that Kenneth Ford could love me? Little Rilla Blythe? Ah, why am I even asking? Of course you could. In your eyes nothing was impossible. You even said he'd come back to me and he really did. Are you happy for me, Walter?"

And for a moment she thought she could hear his laugh and his voice, telling her that he indeed was happy for her.


	2. Borrowed Luck

**Borrowed Luck**

A few minutes after Rilla had finished her one-sided conversation with Walter, the doorbell rang again. And again she stood up reluctantly and went down, all the while wondering who it could be. She couldn't think of anyone. Therefore she was even more surprised to look into a well-known, but totally unexpected face, after opening the door.

"Fred!" Rilla beamed at him, "I didn't know you were in Glen. Come in! How are you?"

"Um, hello Rilla. I arrived, um, yesterday. I'm fine, I guess" stuttered Fred Arnold, clearly taken by surprise and followed her in.

"Sit down" said Rilla, pointing to the sofa where she and Ken sat only minutes ago, "Can I get you anything?"

"Um, no, thanks" Fred shook his head and watched Rilla taking a seat in an armchair across from him.

"All right" she smiled, "but if you get hungry or thirsty just tell me, all right?" Fred only nodded silently.

Actually poor Fred didn't know what was going on. Didn't she refuse his proposal in tears? And a friendly kiss as well? Because of Kenneth Ford? Why did Rilla Blythe suddenly act like he was the only person that mattered to her?

Sure, she had written him regularly, but her letters had been nothing but friendly. The whole time she had let him feel, what she had said the day he said his farewells. That she really did like him and that he was important to her – as a friend. That she would never marry him. That she was in love with Ken Ford and promised him to save her lips for him.

But now... how could he interpret her behaviour? It had been a long time. Should it be possible, that she liked him as more than a friend after all? That she didn't love Ford anymore? That she would marry him?

While Fred slowly drew new courage, Rilla was caught in her own dream-world in which only a certain man played a role. And that was surely not the man she was sitting across from. Really, she was happy to see Fred again, after all he was a very good friend, but the main cause for her happiness was Ken's visit. That she raised poor Fred's hopes was totally oblivious to her.

Therefore she answered his question, if she'd missed him a little bit, with an almost outraged "of course". Fred did notice, however, that her thoughts were far away, but misinterpreted it completely. Maybe he even wanted to misinterpret it. And Rilla, who normally would have noticed his behaviour, was too caught up in her own world to do so.

Just as Fred had worked up the courage to ask her _the_ question again, the door open and Rilla's mother and sisters went in.

"Oh, hello Fred" Anne greeted the guest of her youngest daughter, "I didn't knew that you were already back in the Glen."

"Good evening, Mrs. Blythe, Nan, Diana" responded Fred, standing up, "I arrived yesterday."

"And you are already here to visit our baby sister?" Di grinned and looked from Fred to Rilla and back to Fred again.

"Say, Di, does the word 'platonic' even appear in your vocabulary" Rilla chimed in innocently.

As it was to be expected, Nan took the site of her twin "The question is, if it appears in YOUR vocabulary."

"Girls!" Anne good-naturedly called her daughters to order.

"Um, I think I'll better be going" Fred motioned for the door, "Goodbye, Mrs. Blythe. Nan, Diana." Rilla followed him, sending a death-glare at her sisters, while passing by.

"What did he want?" asked Di with shining eyes the moment Rilla entered the room again.

"Just wanted to say 'hello'" Rilla threw her sisters a strange look.

"Sure" said Nan rather sarcastically, "He looked terribly nervous and your eyes are shining so bright it blends."

"He's only a friend" explained her younger sister, rolling her eyes, "I mean, he proposed years ago. I turned him down. End of story."

Before Nan or Di could respond, Anne asked "Was someone else here while we were away?"

"Just Ken" was Rilla's casual response. "Ford?" Di wanted to now and Rilla nodded.

"Will he come back another time?" Nan asked. And again her sister just nodded.

"Did he want to see Jem? Or one of us?" Di again.

"Not Jem and none of you, no" Rilla shook her head.

Nan frowned: "Not? Who then?" Rilla just raised an eyebrow, waiting.

"Did his mother send him to Mum?" Di pondered. Rilla shook her head.

"His father?" asked Nan. Again Rilla shook her head and Anne silently amused herself over Rilla, who got angrier by the second and the twins, who were totally oblivious.

"Shirley isn't here yet. And they were never really close" Nan frowned again, "All right, I give up." "Me, too" Di looked at her younger sister curiously.

"Who else lives in this house?" Rilla asked, clearly irritated.

"Well, Susan. And you of course, but..." Di never got to finish her sentence, for Rilla interrupted her: "Right. ME!"

"You?" Nan was flabbergasted. "Why did he want to see you?" Di looked equally confused. Rilla made one attempt to speak, the closed her mouth and stormed upstairs.

The twins turned to Anne. "Mum?" they asked in unison, as if Anne could explain, what had just happened.

Rilla didn't leave her room the whole evening and Anne refused to tell anything, therefore the twins were even more curious. And sorry as well. Both had been too surprised by Rilla's news (or what they thought to be her news) to think properly before acting and they surely never meant to anger or hurt their sister.

The next day Rilla didn't let herself be seen either and around eleven o'clock Nan and Di were debating whether to go up or not.

Exactly at that moment the doorbell rang and Jem went to answer it. To his surprise it was Ken standing on the doorstep, grinning at him.

"Ken, old pal!" he greeted him, "I didn't know you were back already."

"In Canada for two weeks and yesterday I arrived in Glen" Ken answered and followed his friend in.

"And to what do we owe the honour of your visit?" Jem asked, jokingly.

"Actually I wanted see Rilla" Ken admitted, just as the twins came in.

"Nan! Di! Good to see you!" Ken exclaimed and both of them stated that it was indeed nice to see him, too.

During their greetings, Jem slowly brought sense in Ken's answer. "Rilla? What do you want from Rilla?" he asked, frowning.

Ken grinned "Just today or in general?"

"Both!" suggested Jem, but before Ken even got a chance to answer, a new voice chimed in: "Jem, the protector-role really doesn't suit you."

Rilla came walking down the stairs, all the while watching the other four. "Hello, Ken."

"Hello" he grinned, he came nearer to kiss the back of her hand. Rilla smiled at him.

"Does anyone want to tell me what exactly is happening here?" Jem chose to ignore Rilla's comment.

"Isn't that obvious?" Rilla demanded. Jem ignored her again and turned to Ken, who had just slipped his arm around Rilla's waist.

"You haven't answered my question yet" he reminded him. Ken grinned.

"Well, for today I intend to take her down to Rainbow Valley and in general... well, let's just say, that I simply haven't met your father so far..." Rilla looked up at him, Jem frowned again and the twins shared a look.

"Well, we don't want to keep you then" Jem said after a pause, "Have a nice day."

"Too kind of you", Rilla almost hissed, just as Ken declared: "We'll have that, thank you."

"He didn't just hint that he wanted to marry her, did he?" asked a very perplexed Di after Rilla and Ken had left the room. Jem could only nod.

"But she's still a child" Di sounded almost outraged.

"Well" Nan looked out of the window absent-mindedly, "She's nineteen, almost twenty. If Jerry had not gone away I would have been engaged at that age as well, I guess."

Di looked at her in surprise. Sure, she was aware of her sister's age, but Rilla had always been the baby, always too young to do anything and now she should be practically engaged?

They watched Rilla and Ken making their way to Rainbow Valley. She talked about something, while he listened, or at least looked like he did. After a while he interrupted her, leaned down and whispered something into her ear.

She backed away and eyed him rather distrustful, but failed in hiding the grin spreading over her face. Again he said something, which apparently made her laugh and say something in response.

Ken grinned at her, then cast a quick look backwards and leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips. Rilla pulled away just as quick, even though it did seem a bit reluctant. She turned away from both Ken and the house and began talking and walking again, as if nothing had happened.

"May they be happy" Jem said, unusually gentle, before turning around and leaving the room. The twins shared a look, and then both of them looked at Rilla and Ken and the door, through which Jem just had disappeared. It seemed that the war had changed them – all of them – in more ways than they could imagine.


	3. Carpe Diem

**Carpe Diem**

„Who invented siblings in the first place?" Rilla demanded to know after she and Ken had left Ingleside, "I mean they're of no use for anything, are they?"

"Sometimes they are" said Ken and grinned, clearly amused by Rilla's outburst. She just glared at him and continued to complain about her siblings. Ken listened, watching her at the same time and discovering once again how beautiful she had become.

"You're the sweetest thing, you know. Especially when you're mad" he whispered into her ear.

Rilla turned around, pretending to be offended and declared "I didn't hear that, Kenneth Ford!" He just grinned at her again, causing her to lightly slap him.

Ken pretended to suffer but didn't manage to ban the laughter out of his voice as he said "That's it. I'm mortally wounded and you're to blame for this, Miss Blythe. The only thing that could rescue me now is a kiss."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, partly to hide her unsureness, but leaned in and cast a quick kiss on his lips. Ken refused to let her go and kissed her again, until Rilla managed to free herself from him, looking rather triumphant.

"Peace?" Ken offered and took a step closer. Rilla nodded a bit reluctantly, but came closer as well. He slipped one arm around her waist and look down at her, grinning.

"You were complaining about how Jem, Nan and Di never should've been born, right?" he teased her, earning himself another glare.

He quickly caught her had, which she had raised to slap him again and grinned "A bit violent today, are we now?"

Rilla tried to step back again, but Ken's arm successfully kept her in place. He let go of her hand to put his other arm around her waist, too, so that they were now facing each other.

Rilla's face softened as she raised her hand to follow the scar on his cheek. Her touch was so gentle that Ken almost didn't feel it.

"Where did you get this?" she asked softly, avoiding his more than intense gaze.

"Shrapnel, Battle of the Somme" Ken responded curtly. His face had turned hard.

Rilla's finger gently touched another scar, on his neck this time and much smaller, and came to rest just above his decorations.

"Victoria Cross?" she asked, "what for?" "Killing", Ken's voice sounded bitter.

"When?" Rilla asked very cautiously. "Vimy" was his answer.

His mind seemed far away, somewhere in the past, on the battlefields in Europe. His expression was hard and bitter. Rilla looked at him, unsure of what to do next.

"Ken... I... I'm sor-" she began, but Ken silenced her by gently laying a finger on her lips.

"No need to apologise, Honey" he murmured and drew her closer, "_I'm_ sorry. I shouldn't talk like that. Just forget about it." Rilla nodded and nestled against his chest. But silently she asked herself, if the soldiers would ever get over this war. Somehow she doubted it.

"What do you think of coming over for supper tonight?" Rilla asked after a while and looked up at him.

"I can do that" Ken responded and grinned. "Why so enthusiastic?" Rilla asked sarcastically, whereupon Ken leaned down and kissed her again.

"Willa! Willa!" cried a voice, that quickly made them let go of each other. Jims raced up to them, as fast as his legs would carry him, all the while shouting his nickname for Rilla. It wasn't that he couldn't pronounce her real name by now, as he was four and a half years old, but he had decided to call her 'Willa' and had stuck to it.

As he reached them Rilla bend down to her 'war-child' and hugged him close to her. "Hello Willa" Jims smiled up at her, then cast a look towards Ken, who was watching the encounter.

Rilla turned to him as well "You remember Jims?"

"Sure thing" Ken nodded, but was drown out by Jims, who cried "Who's that, Willa?"

"You can ask him that himself" Rilla responded, "he won't bite you." Jims didn't seem to sure of it, but did as he was told to.

Ken kneeled down, so that he was at eye-level with the boy, and answered "Kenneth Ford. And who are you?"

"James Kit- Kit- Kit-..." Jims frowned as he tried to pronounce his middle-name correctly.

"James Kitchener Anderson" Rilla helped and looked at Jims with a gentle smile. "Yes, that" Jims nodded, "but you can call me Jims."

"So Jims it is. And whom did you ran away from, Jims?"

Before Jims could answer Ken's question, the three heard the voice of the boy's step-mother "There you are, James Anderson! Running away like that. Don't you do that again! I was worried."

"Sorry" Jims didn't sound as if he meant it. "I hope he didn't bother you" apologised Mrs. Anderson.

"Oh no" Rilla laughed, "it was quite all right. Mrs. Anderson, may I introduce you to Kenneth Ford? Ken, Mrs. Anderson, the second wife of Jim Anderson."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Anderson" Ken extended one hand.

"You as well" Mrs. Anderson shook his hand, "but unfortunately we have to go. I have to buy a few things at Carter Flagg's. Jims, say goodbye to Miss Blythe and Mr. Ford."

"Bye Willa, bye..." Jims trailed off, unsure of how to address the man. Ken bent down and whispered something into Jims' ear, whereupon the boy smiled proudly. Rilla and Mrs. Anderson shared an amused look.

"Bye Ken" Jims waved and ran already into another direction. "Such a whirlwind..." Mrs. Anderson shook her head, but smiled lovingly as well, "goodbye, then."

"Goodbye" both Rilla and Ken responded and just after Mrs. Anderson had left, Ken turned to Rilla and asked grinning "So, where did we left off?"

Rilla rolled her eyes and changed the subject "How does it come, that you have such a hand with children?"

"I like them" Ken answered, "and most of my cousins are older than me and already have several children. I used to play with them sometimes."

Rilla smiled, then looked at her watch. "I have to go" she said regretful, "can you come around 7 tonight? You can surely bring your parents and Persis, too." Ken agreed and they said their goodbyes.

"How was your walk with Kenneth?" asked Di smirked, just as Rilla entered the living-room of Ingleside.

After seeing her sisters she turned on her heel and was already halfway through the door, as Nan called after her "Rilla? I wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday night. It was uncalled-for. I'm sorry."

"Me too" confirmed Di and both looked expectantly towards the door, through which Rilla just entered the room again.

"Accepted" she grinned again and sat down in one of the arm-chairs. "And?" Nan was equally curious about Rilla and Ken as Di.

"He comes for supper tonight. With his parents and Persis" Rilla declared and the twins shared a meaningful look.

"You are horrible, you know?" Rilla complained and threw a cushion at Di, who easily dodged it.

"Nan?" called Jem and entered the room, "I just came back from the Merediths' and Carl said, that Jerry asks if you want to meet him in Rainbow Valley later on."

"Jerry?" Nan stood there as if electrified. "Yes, Jerry-darling" teased Di and Rilla grinned meaningful, whereupon Nan cast death-glares at her sister.

She turned to Jem, asking hopefully "Really?" He nodded, then smirked, but nothing, not even her siblings' teasing, could make Nan stop smiling.

"Did you two make a match of it or not?" asked Rilla after a few moments.

"Well..." Nan squirmed, but Di was quick to interfere. "Come on, tell them!" she turned to Rilla and Jem, "after all he did kiss her, before he went to war."

"And he never once implied, neither in his letters nor since he is back, that he feels more for me than friendship" Nan sighed.

Rilla smiled sympathetically "It doesn't have to mean anything at all." Her siblings looked at her, Nan hopefully, Di sceptically and Jem amused.

"Ken did the same thing with me" Rillas shrugged, "firstly at the dance in Four Wings he didn't only dance with me, but took my down to the beach, then for a year I only got a few letters and a book for Christmas, until sometime we got the message of him signing up. And shortly before he went overseas he came to the Glen and visited us – me."

"I never knew that" Nan exclaimed.

"I don't think that anyone knew, besides Mum and Susan" responded Rilla, "he phoned in the afternoon and asked, if he could come over and if I could – and I quote – 'arrange that there won't be more than a few dozen people round'. I could.

Everything went fine, until Jims woke up and began to cry. Naturally he didn't stop and I had to go upstairs to look after him. He wouldn't go back to sleep, so after about half an hour I had to go downstairs WITH him."

"These things really only happen to you, Rilla" Jem teased her, whereupon Rilla replied rather saucily "Do you want to hear it or not? Anyway, I sat there with Jims and was more humiliated than ever before in my life – safe the dried codfish-incident, of course. The only good thing was, that Jims said his first word that night: 'Will-Will' for Rilla.

He fell asleep after a while and Ken was so quiet, that I thought he had to be completely disgusted. He didn't think that, after all, but... well, that's not for you to know.

Anyway, like I said, Jims fell asleep and I went to put him in the living-room. And when I came back, Susan was making herself comfortable on the veranda."

Upon hearing this, Jem burst out laughing and the twins couldn't hide their grins either.

"Ah, you're laughing, but I didn't think it to be extremely funny back then" Rilla said, but smiled nonetheless, "Susan dug up a few childhood-stories about Ken, me and some other children as well and after a while said something along the lines, that I was almost fifteen. I was sixteen and a whole month back then and outraged, of course.

Ken was very stiff the whole time and tried to contain his laughter, but I misinterpreted his behaviour completely. After a while he had to go and I walked him to the gate. I was so angry with Susan!

But then Ken kissed me and asked me to save my lips for him and I couldn't be angry with anyone anymore. So Ken said his goodbyes and I was somewhere on cloud nine.

A feeling, that didn't last for long, because Ken kept all of his letters, safe the first, perfectly neutral. Well, in the end he did come back and I guess he made his intentions clear. By the way, he and his parents will come for supper tonight."

"And that means, that little Rilla will be engaged before this day is over" Jem concluded. Rilla just smiled.


	4. The tide is turning

**The tide is turning**

"Talking about engagements" Di turned to Jem, "how's things with you and Faith?"

"We'll marry when I'm finished with my studies" he responded nonchalantly.

"And when did you think of that?" asked Nan.

"We are engaged since before the war – unofficially, of course – and we planned the rest mostly during my leave" Jem explained.

"You know, there's a rumour about a rose, adorned with a kiss, she gave you before you went overseas..." Rilla's voice trailed off, but Jem understood anyhow.

He rummaged through his pockets and after a while brought a small wooden box to light. After opening it, he revealed a bleached rose, which originally must have been red.

"Are you talking about this one?" Jem asked his sister almost rhetorically. Rilla nodded nevertheless and inspected the rose closely.

"It really does exist then. How romantic!" Nan almost melted.

"If you say so..." her brother responded, clearly not convinced, and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Jem" Di nudged him, "even you have to admit, that it _is_ sweet. Both her giving it to you and you keeping it all those years."

Jem pulled a face. _Sweet_ was surely not what he wanted either his action or himself to be. His sisters just laughed.

"All right, Nan, now tell us what's with you and Jerry" Rilla distracted the twins, earning a grateful glance from Jem for doing so.

But before Nan had to answer, the door opened, revealing Anne and Susan, who had just come back from doing their shopping.

"What are you four doing, sitting in here on this beautiful day?" Anne asked surprised.

"We're just talking a bit" Rilla responded, "by the way, I invited the Fords for supper. Is it all right?"

"Certainly" Anne seemed delighted, "I haven't seen Leslie and Owen for ages. And the children neither. They are coming, are they?"

"Ken is at any rate and I think Persis will, too" Rilla answered.

"Would you help me in the kitchen, Mrs. Dr. dear? I have an excellent new recipe that I've wanted to try for some time now. Don't you think that today would be the perfect opportunity?" Susan was already on her way in the kitchen.

Anne followed her, after declining the helping offers of her daughters and telling them and Jem to enjoy themselves on this beautiful afternoon.

"And what are we going to do now?" Di asked the moment the door shut behind her mother and looked at her siblings expectantly.

"I think I'll go upstairs. Write a letter or something like this" Jem said vaguely, stood up and left the room with a half-hearted wave.

"Am I right in assuming, that there was a letter from Faith in the mail today?" Rilla asked and Nan nodded, while rising from the sofa.

"I think I'll go over to the manse" she said markedly casual, "maybe Jerry has time for me already. We don't have too much of it anymore."

She left with this allusion to the fact that both she and Di were only on holidays and would return to their respective schools in about two weeks.

After Nan had left Di stood up as well, declaring "I'll go and visit Mary. Her sharp tongue really is a amusement time and again. And what are you going to do?"

"Oh, I don't now. Maybe read a book or something like that" Rilla shrugged.

Di bade her goodbye and left Ingleside as well, leaving her sister alone in the living-room. After a few moments Rilla really decided upon reading, got a book and made herself comfortable in the garden.

Said book, which had always been one of her favourites, fascinated her so much, that, despite having read the book for several times, she didn't notice the time flying by, nor the return of her father and sisters or the arrival of the Fords.

"Leslie! Owen!" Anne exclaimed after opening the front-door and seeing her old friends, "how good to see you! And Kenneth and Persis, too! Come in! Gilbert is in his office, the twins are upstairs, Jem and Susan and the kitchen and I think Rilla is still in the garden."

Anne guided her visitors to the dining-room and couldn't help but notice how much Ken and Persis looked like their parents.

Ken had certainly inherited Owen's good looks and Persis had grown to be the very picture of her mother. She'd always been a pretty girl and now, in her early twenties and happily engaged, she looked simply stunning.

"Persis, dear, do you think you could fetch the twins?" Anne asked, "and if Kenneth can tear Rilla off her book, I'll go and do the same with Gilbert and his work."

"I could do that" Jem, who had just entered the room, suggested while greeting the Fords with a nod of his head, "I wanted to ask him something anyway."

"Oh no " his mother laughed, "you two would surely begin one of your endless discussions. No, I think I'll fetch Gilbert myself."

While Anne was still talking with her son, Ken had already entered the garden and spotted Rilla, lying in a deck-chair and reading some book.

"Hello" he greeted her softly, after walking over and kneeling down beside her. Rilla looked up from her book and immediately a charming smile appeared on her face.

"What are you reading?" Ken asked, grabbing her book to get a glimpse of the title.

"'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen" Rilla responded nonetheless, taking the book back and placing a bookmark between the sites.

"But it's over a hundred years old!" Ken exclaimed.

Rilla coughed, and then smiled "So what? I like it. Besides, I think we should go inside. The others will be wondering where we are."

"Don't I get a kiss beforehand?" Ken asked, causing Rilla's smile to widen.

"I never said that, you just assumed it" she responded, sitting up and kissing him.

"Well, what's this all about?" for the second time that day Rilla and Ken were interrupted by a voice, this time belonging to Persis Ford.

"Just... don't say anything, all right?" Ken advised his sister before standing up and pulling Rilla up with him. Persis just grinned.

A little while later they were all sitting around the dining table, enjoying Susan's new recipe, which indeed proved to be excellent.

"And you are engaged now, Persis?" Anne asked the younger woman, causing her eyes to light up.

"Yes" she responded, "his name is Thomas Gardiner. He owns a bank in Toronto."

"And how old is he?" Di wanted to know.

"Thirty-four" Persis answered eagerly, not minding in the least, that her fiancé was more than ten years older than she was.

"He already returned from England a few month ago" she chatted on, "He's a captain. Decorated, too."

"Your point?" Ken asked her scornfully, "I'm a decorated captain, too, you know, and it got me nowhere."

Persis simply ignored her brother, but Jem threw him a sympathetic glance. He knew, that it wasn't easy to let go of ones little sister.

While Persis continued to talk about her fiancé, using descriptions, which would have flattered a demigod, and the twins listened, Ken and Jem and Owen and Gilbert were absorbed in their own conversation.

Leslie and Anne, who knew very well which purpose this supper was serving, on the other hand watched Rilla very closely.

Rilla herself had been unusually quiet the whole evening, only talking when spoken to and rarely eating anything.

"Rilla? Are you all right?" Leslie asked after a while, slowly getting worried.

Rilla looked up, blinked a few times, then smiled "Yes, I'm fine. I only have a slight headache."

The others changed amused looks. It surely was interesting, what nervousness could do with you.

Ken, too, grew more absent and quiet and after everyone had finished the meal, he asked Gilbert for a talk – in private.

While the two of them left the room, the others grinned knowingly and Jem was already thinking of a teasing comment for his little sister.

Rilla just reached for her glass, but her movements were so fidgety, that instead of taking the glass she overturned it.

Di rolled her eyes, Nan stood up to get a duster, but Rilla herself didn't seem to notice anything.

Meanwhile Ken and Gilbert had entered the latter's office and Gilbert, after offering Ken a seat, asked "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Ken sat down, took a deep breath and then responded "I wanted to ask you for your daughter's hand in marriage."

"Rilla, I assume?" Gilbert assured himself and, after Ken had nodded, continued, "I can not answer this question. It is Rilla, who has to decide if she wants to marry you."

"I know that, but before I ask her I wanted to make sure that I have her father's blessing" Ken explained.

"Very sensible, indeed" Gilbert nodded approvingly, "and why exactly do you want to marry her?"

"She is one of the most beautiful and intelligent women I've ever met, the mere thought of her has rescued me time and time again during the war and..." Ken hesitated.

"And?" Gilbert looked a him expectantly.

"I love her" Ken stated, looking into the older man's eyes without blinking once.

Gilbert nodded slowly "As long as you promise me to take care of her, treat her like the treasure she is and make her happy, I don't have any objections."

"Promised!" Ken exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

Gilbert and Ken returned to the dining-room and the outcome of their talk was obvious from the looks in their eyes, happy and relieved on Ken's part and both pleased and a bit sad on Gilbert's.

The only person, who didn't take notice of this, but sat their without moving at all, was Rilla. Her eyes were shut, her hand pressed to her forehead and she seemed oblivious to the world around her.

"Rilla? What's the matter with you?" Ken asked worriedly, bending over her.

Instead of answering Rilla just raised her head, a movement, which seemed to be unusually strenuous for her, blinked a few times and suddenly began to cough so violently that everyone turned to look at her.

While Rilla's coughing slowly faded away and she gratefully took the glass of water Ken handed her, Gilbert watched his youngest daughter with a frown.

"Did you feel unwell in the last few days?" he asked, his mind already working.

"I had a slight headache yesterday and was really tired and today my throat felt rough as well, but other than that, no, I didn't" Rilla responded, her voice sounding faint and tired.

"You have a fever" Ken ascertained after laying a hand on her forehead. Rilla only nodded.

"Go upstairs and lay down. Jem, you'll accompany her" Gilbert ordered, "I'll come to look at you in a few minutes."

And again Rilla just nodded and stood up to do as she was told to, but after taking two or three steps her legs gave away and she collapsed into Ken's waiting arms. He picked her up easily and made his way to the stairs.

"Keep her warm and a cold cloth on the forehead, right?" Jem asked his father, while following Ken. His father nodded, deep in thought.

In the doorway Jem stopped and turned around again. "Father? Do you think...?" he never finished his sentence, but Gilbert seemed to understand anyhow, since he nodded, a grave look on his face.

Jem gulped, nodded as well and left the room to follow Ken and Rilla upstairs.

"Gilbert?" Anne touched her husband's arm lightly, "what's wrong with her?"

"I'm... not completely sure at the moment" he avoided.

"I know you know something" Anne said, looking worried, "please Gilbert, tell me."

And Gilbert, not able to resist the entreaty of his wife, slowly responded "If we're lucky it's just a bad cold..."


	5. Moonlight Shadow

**Moonlight Shadow**

After Owen, Leslie and Persis had returned to the House o' Dreams, a silent fear placed itself upon Ingleside.

Gilbert and Jem were in Rilla's room and none of them had come out so far to tell how she was doing. Di had gone to bed a while ago, even though sleeping was out of question.

Ken, who had gratefully accepted Anne's offer to stay, and Nan quietly sat in the living-room and waited. At first Susan had kept them company, reading passages from the bible to them, until Nan had asked her to stop it.

And Susan, who normally would have been offended, just patted Nan's dark head with a sad smile and sorrowful eyes, before going to bed herself.

Anne, too, had withdrawn from the living-room, though not to her own room, but to the one of her dark headed son with his splendid grey eyes, whose body was buried 'somewhere in France'.

She sat next to the window, her red, silver-veined hair falling loosely down her back, her normally shining eyes dull.

Anne Blythe had already beard two of her children to their grave. She wasn't sure, if she could endure to see a third one die.

Because, even though Gilbert hadn't said anything, Anne knew what he presumed. Spanish flu. The flu, which had cost the life of millions in the last few month. The flu, against which there was no medicine, no way to alleviate it.

Anne sighed. She had had to give Joyce away after only one day and had lost Walter far too early. Did they meant to take Rilla, her baby, too? Rilla, without whom she had never found the strength to survive the war?

Suddenly Anne remembered one of her remarks, which seemed to have been said a lifetime ago. She had declared, that she loved turns in roads, because they were so provocative and alluring. Right now she wasn't sure of it anymore.

Because sometimes live was unjust. Why Rilla? Rilla, who had sent brothers, friends and sweetheart away without a single tear just to loose one brother forever.

Rilla, who had cried herself to sleep countless times and still found the strength to smile day by day, just to make it a bit easier for her mother.

Anne looked up to the silvery full-moon and images of her youngest daughter appeared in front of her inner eye.

Rilla as a small infant, so sweet and already the darling of the family. Rilla as a five-year-old, a roly-poly, lisping little girl, who was nevertheless loved by everyone. Rilla as a ten-year-old, a bit too dreamy and always with her head in the clouds, just like Anne herself had been.

Rilla as a fifteen-year-old, terribly thin and vainer than it was good for anyone to be, but still a nice soul. And lastly Rilla as she was now, a beauty, both inside and out, but almost too grown up and for the first time since the war able to hope again.

No, it surely wasn't fair. Hadn't they already endured enough? Didn't they deserve to be spared this despair? Didn't they deserve to have a Happy Ending after all they went through?

Anne's thoughts were interrupted by someone opening the door and entering. "Mother?" Jem asked cautiously, "Are you in here?"

Anne gathered her strengths before turning towards the door and answering: "Yes." She saw the small square of light disappear as Jem closed the door behind himself. He came nearer, leaned against the wall next to the window and took a deep breath.

"She has..." he began, but stopped, as he didn't seem to be able to finish his sentence.

"...Spanish Flu" Anne did in his place, "I know." Jem just nodded.

In the moonlight Anne could clearly make out his features, so much like Gilbert's, and once again she noticed how old Jem looked.

Her Little Jem, her baby from the House o' Dreams, the boy, who had never even _known_ the meaning of 'fear', who had always been in a good mood, never failing to think of a joke or a tease when one had been needed. Now he looked old, broken, conquered. It seemed strange. Almost impossible.

"Will she...?" Anne couldn't finish her question, but Jem understood nevertheless.

"Statistically only one out of five infected persons dies" he tried and failed to calm his mother down.

"And apart from the statistics?" Anne asked, mentally preparing herself for what she was going to hear.

Jem sighed "We don't know. Father sent me out. He doesn't want me to catch the flu as well. He himself refuses to go."

Anne nodded. She had expected that.

"Ken is with her" Jem continued. Anne looked up and opened her mouth to say something, but her son anticipated her "He had already been infected with the flu last spring. He's in no danger of catching it again."

"So he survived? That a good sign, isn't it?" Anne remarked. Jem just nodded.

Neither of them said, what they both thought. Ken was much stronger than Rilla. His chance to survive this flu were about twice as high as Rilla's. Maybe even higher, since Rilla had always been delicate.

Meanwhile Gilbert quietly opened the door to Rilla's room. He had phoned Dr. Parker in Lowbridge and asked him to come as soon as possible. Now he paused in the doorway and looked at the scene unfolding in front of him.

Rilla lay on her bed, her hair was fanned out on the pillow, making her face look even paler than it was, her eyes were closed and her fragile figure seemed small and lost in between all the blankets she was wrapped in.

Ken sat next to her, held one of her limp hands and didn't seem to be willing to let her out of his sight for a single moment.

And despite the earnestness of the situation Gilbert couldn't help but remember a remark made by Di "_The day Ken Ford _really _falls in love with a girl is the day I marry Bertie Shakespeare Drew!"_

"_Anne, I'm starting to worry, if my son does intend to marry _at all_. Hitherto his only ambition seems to be to break as many hearts as possible_" Leslie, forever the worried mother. "_She's nothing but a child yet, Gilbert! Nothing but a child..._" Anne.

"Dr. Blythe?" Ken interrupted Gilbert's thought. The doctor walked closer to the bed.

"How is she?" he asked.

"No changes" Ken responded and Gilbert nodded, a worried look on his face.

"Did she wake up?" he asked, despite the fact, that he knew the answer already. Ken shook his head no, then turned back to look at Rilla.

Gilbert leaned over his daughter, checked her pulse and lay a testing hand on her forehead, just to pull it away seconds later and shake his head, sighing.

"She looks as if she was dead already" Ken remarked after a few moments. His voice sounded hoarse.

"She isn't" Gilbert replied, "yet."

"How can this be? Yesterday she was just fine and today..." Ken let his voice trail off.

"It's not uncommon for the flu to appear very suddenly" Gilbert answered cautiously, "and even if we had noticed it sooner, there is nothing we could have done. Waiting is and remains the only thing we can do."

"Waiting!" Ken growled, before becoming silent again. There was nothing better to say anyway.

Meanwhile Nan leaned over the still figure of her sister "Di? You asleep?"

Instead of answering her twin just slid to the other side of the bed to make more space. Nan quickly climbed in and placed her head on Di's shoulder.

"Do you think she will make it?" the redhead asked softly, almost, as if she was afraid of saying her thought out loud.

"She has to" Nan replied equally softly, "I mean, she just can't..."

"...die" Di completed, after Nan had stopped. Her twin nodded.

"Yes, that. I mean... now, with the war being over and all, now we should be happy, shouldn't we? We endured so much already. Isn't that enough? Shouldn't this be over by now?"

"Life just doesn't work like this" Di sighed.

"It should!" Nan declared hotly. Di just smiled tiredly and hugged her sister closer to herself. And somehow this small gesture calmed both of them down and even Nan remained silent for a while.

"Let's talk about something else" Nan suggested after a while, "I don't want to think about... about what could happen."

"I wish I could stop thinking about it" Di replied dryly, "but I'm not as gifted as you are when it comes to dreaming."

"I wasn't talking about dreaming. Just talking about something else" Nan corrected. Di shrugged and, like so often, let her sister have her way. It was so much easier than arguing.

"I'm really looking forward to the summer" Nan already chatted, "we can spend more time with Jem, Rilla and the Merediths again. Like we did before the war."

"If you say so..." Di remarked in this dry way, that made her sister see red quite often. And today way no exception.

"What do you mean by that, Diana Katherine Blythe?" she screeched in best 'Nan-behaviour', which was what Jem liked to call it.

"When you say 'Merediths' you mean 'Jerry'" Di explained grinning, "which is understandable since you're totally smitten with him."

And before Nan could reply, she continued "It's no use, Nanny. I can't think about anything else anyhow." And strangely enough Nan could only agree.

And while Gilbert and Ken waited for Rilla to wake up, while Anne and Jem tried to raise each others hopes, while Susan silently prayed for the youngest of 'her' children and while Nan and Di futilely tried to think of something else to talk about, another soldier arrived at the Glen with the night-train, just like so many others had before him.

The stationmaster threw him a mere half-glance. May it be the behaviour of the young man or the angry howling storm, he didn't think it necessary to deal with the unknown soldier more closely.

And the soldier didn't want anyone to deal with him either. First of all he wanted to go home. So he shouldered the bit of luggage he had and made his way home in the pouring rain. To Ingleside.

One couldn't say that he expected a committee to greet him. One couldn't even say that he wanted a committee to greet him. But compared to what was awaiting him, he would have preferred every committee on earth.


	6. And so, Goodnight

**And so, Goodnight**

The bell rang. Jem and Anne exchanged a look, but neither seemed to be willing to go downstairs and answer the door. It rang again. Jem pushed himself off the wall.

"I'll get rid of them. Whoever it is" he said, just to say _something_, and Anne nodded before turning towards the window again.

She was a bit surprised to see that it was storming, but then remembered that a storm had been brewing during the day. It had simply approached faster than she'd imagined.

Inside the house she could hear Jem running down the stairs, taking three steps at a time, while the doorbell rung again.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming" Jem exclaimed, clearly annoyed and Anne could hear the door scraping over the tiles. For a few seconds there was silence, then hushed voices and finally two pairs of steps on the stairs.

"Mother is in there" Jem said quietly, "I'll go an let Dad know about your arrival. My guess that Susan and the twins are already asleep."

"All right" a male voice responded and next Anne could her steps again. One pair of feet went away, while the other came nearer, until eventually the door was opened.

Anne stayed, facing the window, because, even if she hadn't seen the young man in the door yet, at least her heart knew who he was.

"Mother?" he hesitated, before cautiously coming nearer.

Now Anne did turn around and looked at him in the faded moonlight. He wore his uniform and stood upright, like he'd always done, but, just like a few weeks back when Jem had arrived, Anne couldn't help but notice how old her son looked.

Old, tired and burned out. Defeated. And even if she wasn't in the mood for smiling, Anne managed to do so. She had practised it enough in the last few years.

"Hello Shirley" she greeted him.

A few seconds they just stood there quietly, then Anne extended her arms towards her youngest son. Shirley hesitated before coming nearer and allowing her to hug him.

He, who'd always been a bit distanced, who had for the first time refused to be put to bed at the age of four and who'd never liked any kind of caressing, now buried his face in his mother's shoulder and let her hold him for a few minutes, just as she'd done when he'd been nothing but a small child, needing to be comforted.

But he was a child no more and the comfort he was in need off wasn't one Anne could give him, so Shirley detached himself from his mother after a few moments and waited until she'd wiped off her tears.

"Jem said Rilla's ill" it was more of a statement than a question.

"She has..." Anne swallowed, "...the Spanish flu." Shirley nodded, his face showing no emotion whatsoever.

"Will she pull through?" he asked, after he mother had calmed down a bit.

"We aren't sure. Your father is with her. Ken as well" Anne answered, looking away.

"Ken? Ken Ford?" Shirley sounded mildly surprised, but not as if the topic really interested him.

"He asked Gilbert for her hand in marriage today" Anne explained, wondering how drastic things could change in a mere hour.

"Well, I never!" Shirley grinned, but it was strangely hollow and... dead.

After that both became silent again. Shirley because he preferred it to talking and Anne because she wasn't really in the mood to converse either.

But she didn't know what to say to Shirley, who had never been _her_ child, anyhow. Sure, Anne loved him just as much as she loved the others, but with six children it wasn't easy to share out one's time between them.

And, grateful for Susan's help, Anne had noticed far too late that her youngest son had become a stranger to her, that she had lost him years ago.

So she watched silently, as Susan stormed in and threw her arms around Shirley, who stayed in her embrace much longer than in his mother's.

"Father? Shirley's here" Jem proclaimed, bursting in Rilla's room right after he had sent Shirley to their mother.

Gilbert looked up "Shirley? Really? Where is he?"

"With Mum. In Walter's room" Jem answered, already on his way out, "I'll go and see if Susan and the twins are still up."

Gilbert stood up, then turned to Ken. "When she wakes up, you'll tell me, all right?" he asked almost rhetorically.

"Of course" Ken nodded without taking his eyes off Rilla's face. He heard Gilbert leaving the room, closing the door softly behind him.

After the retreating steps died away, silence laid itself upon the room, making Ken even more nervous. He had learned to hate silence, to fear it. Because with the silence the cries returned.

Cries of dying soldiers, hundreds, thousands of them, that re-sounded in his head every time silence was around him. Cries that brought the memories back.

"What's wrong?" a soft female voice broke the silence, drove the cries away, even if only for a moment.

Ken looked at Rilla, who had awoken without him noticing it, and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Sure" Rilla nodded, though obviously not believing him. "What happened?" she asked after a few moments.

"You fainted" Ken explained, but, as Rilla noticed, not without hesitating first.

"And?" she enquired, after he didn't speak further. Then she closed her eyes, as if it was too strenuous for her to keep them open.

"Your father suspects... well... have you ever heard of the Spanish flu?" Ken looked at her with a worry on his brow. Rilla didn't even move.

"Rilla?" he asked cautiously after a little while had passed without her reacting to what he had said.

"Am I going to die?" Rilla asked back so softly, that he had trouble hearing her. She still kept her eyes closed tightly.

"Of course not!" Ken assured her with a confidence he didn't feel, "only a few of those infected die."

"And what about me?" she wanted to now, opening her eyes and throwing him a piercing look.

"It's too early to say" Ken evaded her question, "at any rate your father and brother do all that is humanly possible for you."

"How calming" Rilla responded quietly and closed her eyes again. Ken just wasn't sure if the comment had been serious or sarcastic.

For a few minutes they both were silent and Ken just began wondering, if she'd fallen asleep again, as Rilla opened her eyes.

"I don't want to die" her voice was barely above a whisper, "not now. Not now, when things are looking up again."

"And I have no intention of letting you die" Ken responded, taking her hand and caressing it softly with his thumb.

Rilla nodded, as if this had been the assurance she needed, and closed her eyes again.

"You can't fall asleep" Ken had just remembered Gilbert's request, "your father wants to talk to you beforehand."

"Could you get him then?" Rillas voice sounded so weak Ken had trouble understanding her.

"Depends on whether I can leave you alone or not" he said, reaching forward and brushing a strand of hair off her forehead.

"Don't worry, I won't run away" Rilla's mouth twisted into a grin, but to Ken it looked more like a grimace.

"And you are sure that I can trust you?" he teased, glad that she could still joke around.

Rilla nodded. "Now, go" she demanded, "I'm tired."

"As you wish, Milady" Ken blew a kiss on her forehead, before standing up. Alarmed he noticed that she was almost glowing with heat. Apparently she was worse than her jokes suggested. But gallows humour was something that Ken actually understood.

"I'll hurry" he promised, while walking towards the door.

"Hm..." Rilla had already cuddled up in her blankets again, her eyes closed.

"Don't fall asleep" Ken warned grinning, but only got an indignant noise as a reply.

"Rilla's awake" he proclaimed after entering the living-room, where the other Blythes sat.

"How is she?" Gilbert asked, standing up.

"She talks, she jokes, but I think the fever increased. But then again, I'm only an amateur" Ken responded, plopping into an arm-chair.

Gilbert nodded, his brows furrowed, then walked towards the door with Jem following suit.

"I told her about your suspicions" Ken said just before Gilbert walked out. Now the older man turned around, clearly unhappy with this development of the situation, and was about to say something when his son interrupted him.

"Come on" he nudged his father slightly, "you know Rilla and how penetrating she can be. My guess is that she simply wouldn't leave him alone until he told her."

And again Gilbert nodded before proceeding to go upstairs. Jem shrugged, than followed him.

"Hello Shirley" Ken greeted the younger man half-heartedly.

"Hello" Shirley greeted back just as unenthusiastically. Next was silence, time and again interrupted by Susan's coughing.

"You should lie down, Susan" Anne suggested after a while, "your coughing doesn't sound good to me."

"It's nothing, Mrs. Dr. Dear. You'll see, tomorrow I'll be just fine again" Susan dismissed Anne's sorrows, but no-one really believed her.

"It's unbearable!" Nan exclaimed suddenly, jumping to her feet and proceeded to pace up and down the room. Di followed her with her eyes, but didn't say anything.

"It simply isn't fair" Nan continued and wrung her hands, still pacing.

Shirley laughed hollowly "What's fair in life anyway?" No-one answered.

"It'll turn out all right, I'm sure" Susan tried to calm the others down, but was again shaken by a coughing fit. Not even her irrefutable optimism could convince anyone anymore. Least of all herself.


	7. Twilight

**Twilight**

In the next few days Ingleside was filled with a nervous tension, that could easily be compared to the one occurring during Jem's captivity. Susan's coughing, of course, didn't turn out to be as harmless as she had claimed and only days after Gilbert had ordered her to stay in bed first Jem, then Nan fell ill.

Anne also grew more and more worried about her husband, who seemed to be working incessantly, fighting the flu, which had spread everywhere in Glen and its surroundings.

Di and Anne herself were, oddly enough, completely healthy and fully occupied with caring for those suffering from the flu. Shirley, who didn't show any signs of falling ill either, spent most of the time in his room and seemed to be even quieter than he was normally.

Jem recovered first. He seemed to have had the least serious type of the flu, whereas Susan and his sisters were in much worse conditions. Indeed, Gilbert was most worried about Rilla, who, after two full weeks, hadn't shown any sign of recovering from the flu

The inhabitants of Glen were, of course, encouraged to leave their houses as seldom as possible, but this couldn't be valid for Ingleside, since it was where the only doctor lived, and that was why Ken could continue his regular visits there.

And it was why one evening, when Jem and Ken sat in the living-room, talking, Jerry Meredith, who'd just come back from a two week long visit to old friends in Maywater, stood on the doorstep.

Naturally his first question was, where Nan was and when he could see her. Jem and Ken shared a look. Obviously Jerry had no idea of what had happened in Ingleside during his absence.

"You can't see her" Jem hesitantly answered part of the question.

Jerry frowned. "Why not?" he demanded to know and threw his friend a side-glance, "and why are you looking as if you'd just been snatched from the jaws of death anyway?"

Jem pulled a face and Ken laughed rather humourless.

"What...?" Jerry's brows furrowed even further.

"Spanish Flu" Jem said shortly.

Jerry stared at him for a few seconds, not being able to take in what he'd just heard.

"This means that Nan's ill?" he slowly concluded.

"Yes. As are Susan and Rilla" Ken answered, "and Jem here is only allowed to get up for a few hours."

"And...? Jerry never finished his question, but there was no need to anyway.

"Rilla is worst, whereas Susan is on the way to recovery. We aren't sure about how serious Nan's condition is, though" Jem informed, "she has been ill for only four days ago, you see."

Before Jerry could reply, Di burst into the room. "Jem, where is Father?" she asked, looking around frantically.

"Out" her brother responded and scrutinised her closely, "what's the matter?"

"It's about Rilla. She's much worse. I think... I think she's going to... die" Di swallowed hard.

Immediately Ken jumped to his feet and ran upstairs. Jem started to follow him, but hesitated and turned around again.

"Di, phone all households in Glen and try to find Father. He has to come back at once. Jerry, either you go back home or you wait here. There's nothing you can do for Nan anyway. At most you only catch the flu as well. I'll go and see what I can do for Rilla" he quickly instructed.

"But you have to take..." Di began, but the door already shut behind her brother. "...care of yourself" she finished quietly and sighed, before walking over to the telephone.

Jerry stood around in the room undecidedly, looking from Di towards the door and back to Di, then shrugged and plopped into a chair.

Gilbert came about an hour later and ran upstairs without saying a word or even greeting Anne, Di and Jerry, who sat in the living-room, waiting for something to happen, just like they'd done countless of times in the last five years.

The minutes passed by, but before they were told anything about Rilla's condition, the doorbell rang.

Di went to open and, much to her disappointment, saw herself confronted with Mary Vance. Because, as kind-hearted and entertaining as she could be, in such strained situations Mary wasn't easy to deal with.

"Hello Diana" she greeted and uninvited went past Di towards the living-room. "How are you? We haven't seen each other in ages, so I thought I'd just drop in for a quick visit. Oh, Jerry Meredith! Well, that's a surprise. When did you come back? I thought you'd planned to stay a bit longer. But, of course, I could always be mistaken."

Jerry looked up, but didn't bother to say anything, seeing as Mary just continued talking.

"The old Kitty Alec has got it, too. The flu. Things don't look too good for her. But what am I saying? You know how it is, don't you? At any rate..." Mary didn't get further, since Di interrupted her.

Because even if generally Nan was known to be the quick-tempered one of the Ingleside-twins, Di had also inherited her share of Anne's temper, which liked to show itself in situations like this.

"Indeed, we know how it is, Mary. Because, by pure chance, both of my sisters are infected and you know what? It looks as if one of them is going to die! Yes, you heard correctly: Rilla's dying. And you have the nerve to come here and ask me _how I am_?" she exploded.

"I..." Mary was about to apologise, but was saved by Gilbert entering the room.

"And?" Di asked her father, torn between fear and hope, just as Anne wanted to know "How is she?"

"If she survives the night, she has good prospects of recovering" Gilbert replied, "but if she doesn't..." He didn't finish his sentence, but everyone knew too well what he wanted to say. The morning would bring either death or life.

"I have to go" Jerry said into the silence, sensing that the Blythes wanted to be alone, "Di, do you think you could phone me if there are any news about Nan – and Rilla, of course?"

"Sure" Di nodded, "bye."

Jerry, too, bade his goodbyes, got his coat and moments later the door shut behind him. The three remaining Blythes silently sat in their chairs and just as Mary started to initiate another conversation, Jem entered the room.

"Ken asked me to leave him and Rilla alone for a while" he answered unspoken questions, "he'll let us know if anything changes."

And again unspoken words lingered in the air and again everyone knew their meaning. Ken wanted to be alone with Rilla to say goodbye.

For a few seconds neither spoke, then Di suddenly began sobbing, stormed up the stairs and fled into her room. Jem followed her more composed, but went in his own room, to Faith' letters, which many times during the war-years had been the only things keeping him sane.

Gilbert and Anne sat in the living-room furthermore and Mary, who, too, was worried about Rilla, stayed in her arm-chair as well. The room was completely silent, while they started to prepare for their heavy burden: a long and anguish night-watch.

And like so often in the last few days Ken sat at Rilla's bed, holding one of her limp hands, unwilling to leave her out of his sight, quite as if he could influence her state of health by keeping her company.

And sitting at home, not knowing how Rilla was, was slowly, but surely driving him mad anyhow, even more so since news from Toronto had come, saying that not only Victoria, one of his father's sisters, and several of her children, but also Thomas Gardiner, Persis' fiancé, had fallen ill.

Persis had cried herself to sleep ever since and Leslie was beginning to seriously worry not only about her daughter, but her son as well. Because the fact that neither of her children would cope easily with the death of the person they'd planned to marry, she was aware of.

So Persis cried and prayed every waking minute and was haunted by nightmares during the sleeping ones, which naturally gnawed on the whole family, since Persis usually lived out her emotions fully.

Ken on the other hand had always tended to be friendly and cheerful on the outside, while keeping all his problems and sorrows for himself, and did so even more since the war. Actually these hours at Rilla's side were some kind of escape for him, even if he himself would never have admitted it.

Usually he couldn't even tell how quickly the time passed by and of course at that fateful day there was no difference. So he barely noticed the leaded darkness setting itself over the world, just to be replaced by the pale morning light mere hours later.

And probably he wouldn't have noticed daybreak either, if it hadn't been for the quiet voice interrupting his thoughts.

"Ken?" And like the first time, those few days ago, that had seemed like an eternity to Ken, it was Rilla to whom this voice belonged.

But otherwise she didn't have much in common with the ill, feverish girl she had been. Sure, she was still very pale, but her eyes, instead of being dulled by a livid veil, looked at Ken, bright and shining.

"Your father said, if you survive the night it's very likely that you'll recover" Ken murmured hoarsely, mostly because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Rilla smiled "Look outside, then."

Ken turned around and looked out of the window. Looked at sun slowly rising behind Rainbow Valley and at the little bird sitting in a tree and chirping, as if to tell everybody that the new day had brought life instead of death.


	8. Planning Fate

**Planning Fate**

Rilla recovered unusually fast from her serious illness and two weeks later Nan and Susan were out of danger as well. Nevertheless there were some bad news: not only had one of Owen Ford's nieces succumbed to the flu, but also Thomas Gardiner, Persis' fiancé.

The young woman was inconsolable and while the others were full of vigour, happy to finally go on with their lives, she withdrew herself from the world, wanting nothing more than to be alone and mourn for what could have been her future.

That was why, on one nice afternoon in June, she opted to stay in her room, instead of joining her friends in Rainbow Valley, to talk, to sit together or just to enjoy a bit of idleness.

"It feels so nice to finally be outside again" Nan declared, closed her eyes and turned her face towards the sun.

Because of the illness she had just overcome she wouldn't start teaching again until September at the earliest. Di, whose school had been closed over the summer due to the flu raging in its surroundings, would also stay in Glen for the time being.

"Say, Nan, Jerry, when do the two of you plan to marry anyway?" Jem asked casually and pulled out a bit of grass.

Nan turned an interesting shade of red and opened one eye to glare at her brother. Jem just grinned back.

"First of all I've got three years of theology-studies to get over" Jerry answered hesitantly, "and after that... well, we'll see what happens, I guess..."

"Ken? Rilla?" Jem, obviously satisfied with his friend's answer, continued his questioning.

"I agree with the Jerry" Ken replied, "I mean, I wouldn't dream of studying theology and for my part I have only one year to go, but other than that he's right: at first we have studies to finish."

"What are you studying anyway?" Di enquired, "journalism?"

Ken shook his head "No. History and political science."

"But didn't you always said that you wanted to become a journalist?" Di seemed to be rather confused.

"Well, yes. Actually I still want to become one. But if one studies journalism, he has no possibility of doing something else. That's why I chose more... more neutral subjects" Ken explained.

Di nodded and was about the reply something, when Jem decided upon her as his new target "And do you have any intentions of marrying in the near future, Di?"

She laughed "Oh no! I mean, I do want to marry one day, but there's a time and place for everything and at the moment I'm quite satisfied with teaching."

"Me too" Nan chimed in, just to qualify her statement seconds later, "For now, at least."

"What about you, Carl? Any plans?" Jem continued his questioning.

"I'll move to Vancouver and study entomology at the University of British Columbia" he answered and grinned as the other looked at him questioningly.

"Insects" he added and the confusion shown on the other's faces turned into understanding.

"And you're sure, that you're capable of doing this? I mean, because of your..." Di stopped upon realising how tactless her comment must have seemed to Carl.

But he just laughed good-naturedly and replied "It's like I said. 'One eye is enough to watch bugs with.'" The others soon joined in his laughter.

"Say, Jem, what do _you_ plan to do with your future?" Rilla asked her brother after the laughter had died down, preventing him from searching for a new target.

"My professors at Redmond have offered me to do an accelerated course, which not only means a lot of work, but also that Faith and I can marry in about a year" Jem answered willingly.

"And what's Faith going to do during said year? When will she come back anyway?" Ken wanted to know.

To everyone's surprise Una, who, like Shirley, had been quiet the whole time, answered "She writes that she will be home in the middle of September and since the school year starts earlier teaching it no longer an option. But she also wrote, that it will probably do her good to have a bit of time to settle down and get used to everything again. And she wants to work on her domestic skills."

"And for that, Jem, you can thank God" Carl said and the other grinned, knowing all to well how hopeless Faith was when it came to keeping a household.

"Fortunately Jem isn't very demanding" Rilla remarked casually, "besides, I could help her. When you're all away, it can get very lonely and even more boring here. And now that Una will go too, there's no-one left."

"You and teaching someone how to keep a house?" Jem laughed, as if the mere idea was totally ridiculous, "you're hopeless at it yourself!"

"Maybe I am, but I had five years to learn it" Rilla defended herself, "I've mastered every kind of needlework, from knitting socks to making lace, I can cook all meals in Susan's cookery books and recently I even managed cream puffs, I know how to clean a whole house as well as something about the most common illnesses and incidentally I raised a child! Isn't that enough?"

Jem was rather perplexed but didn't know himself if it was because Rilla had improved her domestics skills or simply because she had dared to answer back like that.

"That be as it may" Jerry intervened, "but Shirley didn't tell us anything about his plans so far."

"I'll go to Redmond and study mathematics, then I'll work somewhere as an assistant professor and after a few years I'll be a full professor myself" Shirley answered, "and no, Jem, I do not intend to marry in the next few years. Not all of us can meet their soul mate at the age of thirteen, you know."

"No, I guess not" Jem replied casually, taking the sharpness from Shirley's side-swipe.

For a few moments no-one said anything, until Nan declared rather randomly "I want to have at least four children. If not more."

"Me too!" Di cried out with an equal enthusiasm, "No fewer than six."

"Six children? Heaven forbid!" Rilla seemed horrified by the mere thought of it, "Two or three suffice completely."

Nan looked at her surprised "I thought your children phobia had subsided by now. Because of Jims, I mean."

"I don't have a 'children phobia'. I simply don't know what to do with them. And Jims is the often quoted exception proving the rule" Rilla corrected, "besides, I do want children. Just not so many."

"Didn't you once say that you want to have a whole lot of them, Ken? How do you intend to reconcile that?" Di asked, partly serious, partly hypocritical.

"Leave that to me and Rilla, Di" Ken replied, flashing her one of his famous grins.

"And besides" Rilla remarked not without a certain sharpness, "we aren't even engaged. To me thinking of children already seems rather illusory. Excuse me." She smiled sickly sweet, raised and with light steps walked back toward Ingleside.

"Well, if that wasn't broad hint..." Carl grinned and nudged Ken just hard enough to let it hurt.

"Oh, I can understand her" Nan got up too, "it surely isn't nice to be put off for weeks, not knowing where you are at." She smiled just as sweet and just as false as Rilla had done, before turning around and following her sister.

"Does that mean, Jerry" Jem began slowly after Nan was out of eyeshot, "that you _still_ haven't asked her?"

"Um, no" Jerry shook his head sheepishly.

Jem groaned "She won't wait forever, you know."

"Yes, but... it's just... there hasn't been enough time yet. With her illness and all" Jerry replied, hesitantly at first, then almost to quick.

Carl laughed and simply couldn't help but tease his older brother "Dear god, please preserve me my excuses. Amen."

"Well, master of proposals, why don't you tell us how you proposed to Faith?" Ken asked Jem, simultaneously stopping Jerry from rushing upon Carl, who just grinned like the often quoted Cheshire cat.

"Oh, that" Jem shrugged markedly casual, "she asked me to promise her that I'd come back and I told her that I could only promise it, if in return she'd promise to marry me, once I'm back. She said yes and it was settled. It was actually very simple."

"Yes, but only because it was the right moment" Jerry argued, "I mean, if I had asked Nan while she lay in bed with a temperature of 40°C, it wouldn't have been the right time."

"Well, not that, but I do wonder, how exactly she would've killed you, if you had done it" Carl remarked grinning, brining more space between himself and his brother at the same time, "I mean, you should know best how utterly romantic our dear Nanny is."

"At first she'd kill _you_ for calling her 'Nanny'" Shirley threw in dryly, "because, as we all know, only your brother is allowed to do _that_."

Grinning he dodge Jerry's slap, which Ken failed to prevent fast enough.

"Just promise me, Jerry" Jem took up their earlier topic again, "that you'll ask her before returning to Redmond. Because actually I came to like the idea of you as a brother-in-law and my guess it that Di wanting to marry you is highly unlikely."

"All right, all right, I'll do it" Jerry still seemed a bit reluctantly, "_but_ I have to wait for the right moment to come."

"If you haven't asked her by the end of August, I'll do it" Jem threatened and, after seeing the nasty expression on Carl's face, quickly added, "in your name, of course."

Carl closed his mouth again and, obviously disappointed, stopped himself from saying his mean little comment.

"And that goes for you, too, Ken! Because Rilla surely isn't the most patient person on earth" Jem continued giving instructions.

Before Ken could reply something, Di intervened, laughing softly "Jem, we've waited five years for you to come back. Nan, Rilla, Una, me and so many other girls all around the world. Trust me, we've had our lessons of waiting."


	9. Because together sounds so much better

…**because together sounds so much better than alone**

The next few days passed by unnaturally fast and it wasn't long after their conversation in Rainbow Valley when Nan returned from a walk with Jerry, radiating with joy, a sparkling diamond gracing her left hand.

And of course everyone in Ingleside was more than happy for her, but while Di, Susan and Anne already began planning the wedding, Rilla only managed a half-smile. Yes, she was very pleased for Nan and she surely didn't begrudge her anything, but Nan looked so happy and that ring... how could Rilla _not_ be a bit jealous?

Apparently unnoticed she slipped outside and it took her a few seconds to realise that Jem had followed her.

"Don't worry, Spider, he'll ask you soon enough" he remarked with both seriousness and amusement.

"Will he now, Red?" Rilla snapped and turned away from him.

Jem just laughed good-naturedly "Ah, touché. But anyway, it's not as easy to _pop the question_ as you girls make it out to be."

"And what makes it so difficult to ask a simple question? The grammar?" Rilla asked, sarcasm gushing from her lips.

"I do credit Ken with forming a grammatically correct question" Jem grinned, "but I dare say his problem is not grammar, but nervousness."

Now Rilla did turn around to face him, but only to give him an doubting look.

"Nervousness?" she repeated "why should he be _nervous_? I thought, I made it pretty clear that there's nothing I'd rather do than marry him."

"Yes, I guess, you did, but as long as you haven't said yes, there's always the possibility that you'll say no" Jem explained, "take Jerry for example. He was so nervous I thought he'd never get around and ask Nan and in the end even he managed to do it, didn't he?"

"Well, yes..." Rilla agreed rather reluctantly.

"See? Everything will turn out fine in the end. You just have to have a bit of patience" he said cheerfully.

His sister smiled at him. Jem smiled back, satisfied. He had obviously succeeded in his mission of cheering her up.

"So, any more words of advice then, big brother?" Rilla asked teasingly, then laughed and went past him, back inside.

A few days elapses until Rilla was confronted with an equally important event: her twentieth birthday. It was a small affair with only family and close friends invited.

And it was the first time, since the death of her fiancé, that Persis left the House o' Dreams. She was pale, didn't even smile once and obviously had trouble looking at Nan and Jerry or Rilla and Ken together, but otherwise she seemed to be coping.

Rilla had seriously intended to look after her, since they'd always gotten along very well, but before she could put her plan into action, Ken asked her for her company on a short walk through the garden. Rilla agreed and followed him outside, ignoring the knowing looks of the others.

In the garden, he took her hand and for a while they just walked next to each other without talking, until Rilla couldn't endure the silence any longer.

"The moon's beautiful tonight" she said for the sake of saying something to break the silence.

"Not as beautiful as you are" Ken replied and grinned down at her.

"You are a dreadful charmer, you know that?" Rilla countered immediately, but she, too, had to smile.

"Do you mean to say, Miss Blythe, that you don't like compliments?" Ken mocked in response.

Rilla laughed "No, not when they're bad ones."

"All right" Ken nodded, suddenly serious, "all right."

He was silent for a few seconds, as if thinking something over, then suddenly he stopped, turned to face Rilla and took her free hand into his as well.

"I've thought up an awfully long and romantic speech and spent the better part of last night memorising it" he confessed, "but under the given circumstances it doesn't seem to be the right thing to say anymore."

A faint grin appeared on his face, only to disappear mere seconds later to be replaced by a frown and then a smile, which turned out a bit shaky.

"I love you. And there's nothing that could make me happier than you becoming my wife" he looked at her questioningly, "do you want to? Marry me, I mean."

For a moment Rilla was speechless, then she nodded and answered "Yeth." And immediately she wished herself far, far away.

She could see Ken trying and failing to suppress his laughter and suddenly she became aware of how funny the situation indeed was and seconds later she joined in his laughter, not realising that it was the first time she could laugh at her lisp.

After they'd both calmed down a bit, Ken bent forward to kiss his fiancée and then slid a ring on her finger. It was an old ring with an oval pearl, framed by small rubies and sapphires.

"It is beautiful" Rilla exclaimed, raising her left hand to examine _her_ ring more closely.

Ken wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned down to whisper grinning into her ear "Not as beautiful as you are."

It was some minutes later, when Ken suggested to go back inside and tell their families. "I dare say they already know" Rilla said, "But let's go tell them anyway".

The newly engaged couple walked back to their families. The way Rilla's eyes were sparkling, coupled with the look of joy on Ken's face made the others smile and congratulate them heartily.

Yet there was someone, who couldn't be unrestrictedly happy for the young couple. Because even though Persis forced herself to smile, hug both Rilla and Ken and congratulate them, she felt a small pain somewhere near her heart.

So she took the first possibility to slip outside, hoping against hope that her departure unnoticed.

She was mistaken, since only minutes later Shirley joined her on the porch, sitting down next to her on a step.

"Am I disturbing you?" he asked casually without giving her so much as a half-glance.

"No" Persis replied, even though he _did_ disturb her and should have been aware of it.

Shirley nodded to show that he'd understood, but remained silent. Persis scrutinised him suspiciously, but after Shirley didn't show any sign of starting a conversation, she allowed herself to relax again.

But since it had always been in Shirley's nature to make people talk by remaining silent and since Persis had never been able to remain quiet for very long, she did speak after a while.

"It hurts. I don't begrudge them their happiness, but it just hurts so much to see them together. Together and so full of joy and dreams. I loved him, you know. Still do. I mean, yes, I know, that he was twelve years my senior, but it never mattered to me. I was happy with him. And now he's dead and I..."

She stopped and hurriedly wiped the tears off her face. "I don't know how to go on without him" she sobbed, "and nevertheless everyone expects me to do, because they can't believe that I truly loved him. But I can't go on, because I don't know how to. Or why."

She looked at Shirley trough a veil of tears. Silently he handed her a handkerchief, which she took gratefully, smiling dismally.

"Tennyson once said that it is 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'" Shirley quoted quietly, "I know, this must sound to you like sheer mockery, but I think there's some truth to it.

Look at Una, for example. She was in love with Walter, but has lost him before she had the chance to tell him and still she says, that the love she felt and probably still feels for him, is one of the best things that have ever happened to her. Even though it has brought her pain and sorrow instead of joy."

"Una has always been stronger than me" Persis replied.

"Not stronger, but different" Shirley corrected, "she keeps things to herself and prefers to endure her pain alone, while it helps you to share it. That doesn't make you weaker than her."

"It sounds nice when you say it" Persis admitted, "I'd like to believe it."

"Then believe it" Shirley smiled slightly.

"I don't know if I can" she said, "I don't _think_ that I can."

"Just try. And if you should have trouble believing sometime, then you can come and Uncle Shirley will surely have a good advice for you" Shirley suggested.

For a moment Persis stared at him speechlessly, then suddenly she started to laugh. It wasn't as loud and happy as it once had been, but it was rousing enough to make Shirley, who hardly laughed at all, join in.

"This is the first time since... since the news, that I've laughed" Persis remarked and seemed to be surprised by herself.

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Shirley asked and Persis nodded slowly.

He looked at her and suddenly noticed, that it had been the first time since his arrival in Glen, that he'd laughed, too. But he would've rather died than admit it.

"Now, do you think you're strengthened enough to face our turtledoves?" he asked her, mostly to distract her from the thought's of her former fiancé.

"Yes. Yes, I think I am" Persis stated and nodded slowly.

"Good" Shirley stood up, stuffing his handkerchief, which she'd given him back, into his pocket and extended a hand towards her to help her up. Persis accepted it, but continued to hold onto it after standing up.

"Thank you" she said softly.

Shirley was clearly surprised "What for?"

"For listening. For helping me, without branding me as an overly emotional cry-baby. For being there" she lowered her gaze to her feet, "I mean, we've never been very close. I can't take your help for granted."

"I think you can" Shirley contradicted, "and now, come on or Carl will think that we're having a secret love affair."

Persis laughed and followed him towards the door. Just before entering she let go of his hand.


	10. Vivere est dicere

**Vivere** **est dicere**

The summer months flew by and suddenly the last days of August arrived. Carl left Glen first since he had to travel trough the entire state to get to Vancouver and the Fords also returned home relatively earlier, so that Ken was back in time to take up his studies again.

A few days later Jem, Jerry, Shirley and Una boarded their train to Redmond and lastly Nan and Di went back to their respective schools. With them going a boring time began for Rilla, in which she sometimes was close to growing tired of herself.

Maybe that was why, when she heard of Faith' return a week later, she decided to ignore the old misunderstandings and pay a visit to the Manse.

And so on a sunny Wednesday afternoon she stood on the doorstep and, after ringing the bell, cast a last look on her shoes, making sure that they matched.

Bruce opened the door only seconds later. "Good afternoon" he greeted politely.

Rilla smiled "Hello Bruce. Is your sister at home?"

"Faith? Yes" he nodded, "she's in the kitchen, trying to cook."

He turned around and went back inside. Rilla, who took this as an invitation to come in, followed him until they stood next to the closed kitchen-door.

"Thank you" Rilla again smiled at the boy. Bruce just nodded, mumbled something and took to his heels.

For a moment Rilla looked after him, then shrugged and knocked at the door. Nothing happened, so she knocked a second time eventually just entered.

She was greeted by a sight that could only be described as 'chaotic'.

Cooking equipment and ingredients were scattered everywhere, the two pots on the stove made quite alarming noises, the whole kitchen was covered with a white, dusty layer, that looked remarkably like flour and on top of everything it smelled burned.

In the midst of this chaos stood Faith, surveying the kitchen and looking more than a bit devastated.

"Hello" Rilla made her presence felt. Faith whirled around an by doing so dropped the two eggs she'd been holding in the floor, only adding to the mess she'd already made.

"Rilla! You gave me quite fright!" she exclaimed, blushing slightly.

"Sorry" Rilla tried to suppress an amused smile, "it's just... you look like you could need a bit of help."

"You want to help me? To be honest, I'm surprised you didn't turn on your heel after seeing this mess" Faith replied dryly, looked around the kitchen and pulled a face.

"Here I am, trying to help Rosemary only once, but, of course, failing completely and creating a complete chaos" she sighed.

Rilla didn't respond, but closed the door behind her and walked over to the stove, examining the pots' contents, which had meanwhile had begun to boil over.

"What is this supposed to be?" she asked curiously and cast another look at it.

Instead of answering Faith just handed her a slip of paper, which, after Rilla had wiped it off the flour, proved to be a recipe.

"How much time have we left?" Rilla asked, glancing up.

"Two and a half hours. Maybe three" Faith guessed after she'd given up the attempt to discern anything on the flour-covered clock on the wall.

"All right" Rilla nodded, "I suggest we clean up this mess at first, then buy new ingredients and lastly cook something new."

"You really _do_ want to help me, do you?" Faith' expression was something between relieved, grateful and doubting.

Rilla laughed "Of course. To be honest, I think it's quite nice, that I'm not the only one, who's hopeless at housekeeping. And I can reassure you: It's possible to learn it. Somehow."

For a moment Faith just stood there, as if speechless, then she laughed "All right. Let's start, then."

Rilla blinked, cast a meaningful look at the mess around them and cocked an eyebrow.

"Let's start, then..." she repeated markedly sceptical, looked at Faith and both burst out laughing.

Somehow they really managed it and in the evening, when John and Rosemary Meredith returned from Charlottetown, supper was ready and the kitchen spick and spank again.

And while Mr. Meredith didn't really notice, Rosemary tried more than once to find out the story behind their meal, but since Faith would have rather died than admit it and Rilla was sworn to secrecy, her attempts were fruitless.

After supper was finished, Rilla noticed that it was time for her to go and bade her goodbyes. Faith accompanied her to the door, where they stood awkwardly, unsure how to act.

It _had_ been a nice afternoon and during the war they'd written each other rather frequently, but both clearly remembered a time, when they'd all but gotten along.

"You can drop in some time, if you want" Rilla offered and smiled a bit, "even if it's just because you're bored. I also am way too often these days."

Faith nodded "I will. And thank you again for helping me today."

"It was no problem" Rilla smiled, "Bye, then."

"Bye" Faith echoed and winked.

Rilla had been sure, that Faith would accept her offer, even if it was just because it was the polite things to do, but she was quite surprised to already see her on Ingleside's doorstep the next day.

"Hello" Faith greeted, "sorry to burst in like that, but you said I could come when I'm bored and... well, I _am_ bored."

Rilla laughed "It's fine. Come in."

She lead Faith to the first floor and into her room. And Faith, who had been sure to know Ingleside inside out, was surprised to discover, that she'd never actually been in Rilla's room.

"I promised Susan to take her cake out of the oven" Rilla excused herself, "it won't take long."

"All right" Faith smiled and, while Rilla left, started to survey the room.

The walls were painted in a very pale blue, the furniture was made from light pine-wood and sheets, curtains and the small couch were white.

On the wall hang a collection of pictures, mostly small oil paintings and drawings of landscapes, flowers and animals, as well as photos of family and friends. Just above the desk was a photo of Walter and next to it a copy of his most famous poem.

On the desk was a bunch of white and pink orchids, already starting to wilt, and behind it another photo, clearly not older than a few month, showing Rilla together with Ken Ford.

Next to it was an envelope, address to Rilla and stamped in Toronto some days ago, as well as a sheet of paper with the words "Dear Kenneth" written on top, followed by a few more lines. The pen lay just next to it, indicating that Rilla had written on it before Faith' arrival.

And upon seeing these letters, Faith, who had, of course, already noticed the ring gracing Rilla's left hand, drew the right conclusions.

"It's not exactly polite what you're doing there" Rilla's voice informed her from behind.

A bit startled Faith turned around and looked a Rilla leaning the doorway, looking amused.

"It isn't politely to keep your little tête-à-tête with Ken Ford hidden from me, either" Faith countered, also smiling.

"Does it interest you then?" Rilla asked hypocritically and walked over to the couch to take a seat. Faith followed her.

"Does it interest me?" Faith laughed, "Of course it does! I mean, Ken Ford is not exactly the kind of man one would expect to marry early – or at all, for that matter. And things _did_ happen awfully fast between you two, too!"

Rilla just smiled knowingly and waited what else Faith had to say.

"Though... thinking about it, I do remember him spending at lot of time with you during the dance at Four Winds" Faith continued thoughtfully, "not that I claim to know anything for sure. Jack Elliot's news distracted me quite a bit, naturally."

"Hm" Rilla nodded, her smile widening, "and I suppose it also was the cause for you spending most of the time on the rocks, sweethearting with Jem, right?"

Faith couldn't help laughing, but Rilla noticed the slightly wistful sound of it.

"You miss him, don't you?" she asked sympathetically. Faith sighed.

"Dreadfully" she admitted, "I've prayed for something to happen, to keep him here till my return, but I guess it was one prayer too much. And now I won't see him until Christmas. Christmas! It's months away, still."

She tried to smile, but failed and settled for another sigh instead.

"When he was missing... sometimes I was close to giving up. At times I even cached myself thinking 'When he dies, I can't live any longer.' And... and if you hadn't sent me the letter about Monday and him waiting on... I think I would have gone mad."

"Actually it was Susan, who noticed it" Rilla replied for lack of anything better to say.

"Still" Faith objected, "you were the one, who thought of me and sent the letter. Thanks for that."

Rilla nodded silently and waited for Faith to gain her control back.

"By the by, where _is_ Monday anyway? I haven't seen him even once since I'm back" Faith then asked, simply to change the subject.

"In Kingsport, with Jem" Rilla replied and smiled slightly, "you didn't think he'd allow anyone to keep him from following Jem again, did you? And on _that_ train station, too."

Faith laughed quietly "No, of course not. Stupid me."

She looked at her hands and for a few moments both she and Rilla were silent, until Faith had seemingly made up her mind about something and looked up again.

"To be honest, I came here to ask a favour of you" she admitted, "I mean, you don't have to do it, surely not, but I wondered if you good help me improving my domestic skills – or lack thereof."

"Sure" Rilla nodded, "I was going to suggest it anyway, but I didn't want to offend you or anything."

Faith shook her head, laughing "Offend me? I don't think, that, after a disaster like the one yesterday, anyone in my position could be snooty enough to actually reject a helping-offer. And while, like everyone, I do have my faults, arrogance never had been one of them."

"True" Rilla nodded, "I, for my part, have been awfully vain, but I dare say the last years cured me of it."

"They have" Faith assured, "now, is it settled? Are you _really_ going to help me?"

Rilla grinned "Yes. As long as you _really_ want to learn."

And both burst out laughing again, knowing only too well, that neither _really_ wanted to spend time housekeeping. But both would.


	11. Light a Candle

**Light a candle**

Over the next few month the friendship between Rilla and Faith grew stronger and stronger. Because, after a few misunderstandings had been cleared and even more old discrepancies had been moved out of the way, the two got along better with each passing day.

Rilla was glad to finally have a good – or maybe even best – friend, something she'd always lacked, and Faith, being aware of the facts that she had become estranged from her home in the last two years and, even if this had not been the cause, had been and would always be a bit of an intruder in the close-knit relationship between Nan and Di, was equally relieved.

This, combined with the facts that firstly they were much more alike than anyone would have thought and that secondly there simply was no-one else around, lead to a rather strong friendship, about which, upon returning, the others were more than a bit surprised.

But of course there also were enough other news to dwell upon: In November Miranda Milgrave – née Pryor – had given birth to a blond, blue-eyed little girl, who, in remembrance of Miranda's own mother, had been christened Emma Madison Milgrave.

Gertrude Oliver, who had married Robert Grant in August and now lived in Charlottetown with him, also sent news about her first child, which was due in late July.

The biggest event, except Christmas, was the wedding of Mary Vance and Miller Douglas on December 17th. The plans of marrying in early fall had to have been dismissed due to several problems arising and because Mary had refused to marry in October or November a December wedding it was, which, according to the bride, was most romantic anyway.

So they had their romantic December wedding and afterwards left for a hard-earned, two week long honeymoon to Toronto, from where the Fords had arrived only days prior to the ceremony.

Ken had taken it for granted that they would celebrate in Glen (and thus with Rilla) and after Leslie had also expressed her wishes to spent Christmas on the Island, it had been settled.

Another silent hope of both Leslie and Owen was that maybe the holidays could cheer Persis up a bit. Because even though she had begun to cope during the summer, she'd fallen into a deep hole immediately upon arriving back in Toronto.

In the first few weeks she had refused to leave the house, except for visiting Thomas Gardiner's grave, which, with time passing, she'd done more and more regularly, only worrying Owen and Leslie further.

For this cause, among others, they travelled to Glen, assembling in Ingleside with everyone else to celebrate the first Christmas with the boys since the outbreak of the war. But even though everyone was glad that they finally were back, one seat stayed vacant and would be forever.

So this Christmas wasn't one of sheer joy, but also one of melancholy and remembrance. But Christmas wouldn't be Christmas, if it wasn't the only day in they year on which joy and remembrance could be combined and when Jem finally slipped the long-awaited engagement ring on Faith's finger, it was simply impossible not to share their happiness.

The ring itself, a golden band with a ruby set in it, was immediately compared to those of Rilla and Nan, with the result that each thought hers to be the most beautiful, and was then commented by Ken with a dry "Well, Jem, I _do_ wonder, how long you saved up for this..."

Afterwards dinner was served and then presents were opened. Thanks to the quantity of people it turned out to be rather chaotic, allowing Faith and Jem, Rilla and Ken and Nan and Jerry to slip outside more or less unnoticed, so they could give each other their presents in private, or, as Ken put it "escape the madness in there."

Rilla laughed, because in a way he really was right, and then they proceeded to walk in silence for a few minutes, just as they had done about six month ago on Rilla's birthday.

"When do Jem and Faith plan on marrying" Ken asked after a while.

"As early as possible" Rilla replied, knowing too well what Ken was driving at, "Faith said she'd like to marry right after Jem's final examinations. According to her June 19th would be the earliest date possible."

"That's _very_ early. Even though I have to admit, that I do understand them" Ken remarked. Rilla just nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Nevertheless" Ken added at once, "I'd rather we wait a bit longer. Don't get me wrong, I mean, if I could, I'd marry you rather today than tomorrow, but I'd like for us to find a nice house first and for me to get a job and a bit of working experience. Is this all right for you?"

"That depends on what you mean by 'a bit longer'" Rilla replied and looked up at him, "a few months are fine by me, but frankly speaking I don't want to waste another couple of years on waiting."

Ken laughed "Do you think _I_ could bear to wait more than a few months for our wedding? No, Rilla-my-Rilla, certainly not. I think the beginning of 1921 to be a good time. February maybe."

Rilla now smiled as well "Yes, until February I can wait. If it's any longer, though..." She shrugged.

Instead of answering Ken just kissed her and, after pulling away again, held out one clenched fist towards her. "Merry Christmas" he exclaimed and opened it for Rilla to see her present.

It was silver chain with an oval pendant, in which a gemstone was set in, shining and glowing in about a thousand different colours.

"A black opal" Ken explained softly, just as Rilla reached out to touch it.

"Walter always admired opals" Rilla remembered, "like he did everything beautiful. He once said that they fascinated him."

"He's who gave me the idea" Ken admitted, walking around her to put the chain around her neck, "we wrote each other quite frequently during the war. Mostly about you. And once he compared you to an opal."

"Me? Why is that?" Rilla turned in his arms to look at him.

"Well, opals are beautiful and precious, but still very vivid and too deep to ever understand them completely."

"And I am like that?" Rilla asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Let's see" Ken pretended to think about it, "Beautiful, anyhow. Precious, naturally. Vivid, of course. And deep, too. Yes, it fits. And apart from that, I've just discovered what you think to be a good compliment."

Rilla laughed softly about this allusion to their conversation on her birthday, but kept her gaze fixed on the floor. Because, as nice as it was, it also was a bit embarrassing to be flattered like that.

To cover up her awkwardness she gave Ken her present for him, an elegant, dark fountain pen.

Not much later they went inside again, followed closely by the other two pairs of 'turtledoves', as Carl liked to call them.

Nan and Jerry had – of course – given each other books. A bible, bound in soft brown leather, for Jerry and a anthology of the most beautiful poems of the last century for Nan.

Faith had received a bracelet made of colourful glass-pearls from Jem, who _really_ had spent most of his money on the ring, and had given him a framed, hand-coloured photograph of the two of them in London.

Meanwhile the other presents had been distributed as well and now everyone was examining, comparing and admiring. Di, for example, couldn't take her gaze of the brooch her mother had gotten from her father and Persis was already lost in the book Shirley had given her.

And after seeing Rilla's necklace Jem, of course, couldn't help, but comment with a grinning "Well, Ken, I _do_ wonder, how long you saved up for this..."

So Christmas came and went and suddenly it was time to leave again. And naturally the farewell wasn't very easy for most of them and especially Faith and Jem had a hard time separating for the next few month.

But thankfully there already was the next event coming up, making things easier for them: their wedding, now definitely set on June 19th.

The ceremony would be held at the manse, but, if the weather allowed it, the celebration would be set in Rainbow Valley, as it had been Faith's wish.

Anne, Rosemary and Susan were already tied up in preparations shortly after the date had been announced and Rilla had faithfully promised to Faith that she'd help her, may it be with the preparations or with persuading the older women to change their plans, if they should differ to much from Faith's own notions.

And so the next months would be full of making plans and preparing for the big day, because, as Carl has told his sister, when she'd become too impatient "the next summer will definitely come."


	12. Whatever the future holds

**Whatever the future holds**

And of course Carl had been right about summer definitely approaching, because the next month passed unusually fast and suddenly it was June.

Jem graduated almost top of his class and Ken also had a very impressive diploma to show around, while Una got a certificate for her passed course in household science. As for Jerry, Carl and Shirley, they, too, were quite satisfied with their work of the past few month and rightfully so.

And while they studied at their respective universities, in Glen the preparations for the wedding ran at full speed. Anne and Rosemary alternately sewed Faith' wedding dress, a dream of white lace and silk, while Rilla, Susan and Faith herself were busy working on the dresses for the bridesmaids.

It had been decided that Nan and Persis would wear pastel pink, in contrast to Di's and Una's cornflower blue, while Rilla, who, after Una's declination, had become Maid of Honour, was to wear lavender.

But naturally dresses weren't the only things to be prepared and so the last days before the wedding turned out to be more than just a bit hectic. Thankfully on the actual wedding day everything seemed to have fallen in place.

It was warm and sunny, the flowers in Rainbow Valley were in full bloom, the first guest started to arrive and overall every preparation had been made. That was, until suddenly...

"Faith?" Di asked, slowly raising the bride's left shoe, "where's your sixpence?"

"My _what_?" Faith starred at her, obviously confused, but Persis understood.

"_Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe_" she recited.

Slowly Faith seemed to realise what they meant and a slightly panicked look crossed her face.

"I... I didn't think of it..." she admitted.

"All right, don't panic" Nan tried to calm her, "I'll get one for you."

"And where exactly, Nan, do you want to get a sixpence from _now_? They stopped minting them in Canada years ago, you know" Di looked at her sister expectantly.

"Oh well, a fish scale must do then" Nan replied airily, "I'll get one from the boys."

"And what about the rest?" Faith asked, watching Nan leave the room.

"Rosemary's veil is your something old, your dress is new and..." Persis trailed off, not knowing what else to tell the nervous bride.

"I have a blue hair slide you can wear" Una offered, "I planned to wear it myself, but I'll find something else."

She immediately left for her room to fetch the hair slide, leaving the other four to try and think of something borrowed for Faith to wear.

But Rilla, who hitherto had quietly brushed Faith hair, already had the right solution.

"Here, we'll exchange" she said and reached for her neck to unclips her opal-necklace.

"Won't Ken mind?" Faith asked and hesitantly took the necklace Rilla held out for her.

"Oh, he'll live" Rilla replied nonchalantly, reaching for the string of pearls Faith has intended to wear.

So Faith put Rilla's necklace and Una's hair slide on, Nan managed to get hold of a five cent coin, which she put in the shoe in person and the problem had been solved.

Just then Rosemary knocked on the door, indicated that the ceremony was about to begin. The guest were all seated and Jem, together with Jerry, his best-man, and Rev. Meredith, nervously waited for his bride to come.

Faith herself was equally nervous, absent-mindedly playing with her bouquet made of Lilies of the Valley (happiness), Violets (faithfulness) and Forget-me-nots (true love and remembrance), which she and Rilla had arranged deliberately.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen lined up and two by two went downstairs. Persis and Shirley, Nan together with Ken, Una led by Carl and Di next to Gordon Blake, the second son of Anne's friend Philippa and a former college chum of Jem's.

"Faith, it took me ages to put together these flowers and now you're completely tearing them up" Rilla scolded and newly arranged the veil.

"Sorry" Faith smiled sheepishly and let the bouquet sink, "it's just... I'm awfully nervous."

"And rightfully so" Gilbert smiled comfortingly, "but it'll all work out in the end, I promise."

Because her own father was to perform the ceremony, Faith had asked Gilbert to lead her to the altar and he granted her this wish ever so gladly.

"And besides, I think it's your turn now, Rilla" he informed his youngest daughter.

Rilla dutifully abandoned the veil, took hold of her bouquet, a smaller version of Faith' and made her way downstairs, smiling.

"Are you ready?" Gilbert asked the bride, while the clicking of Rilla's heels slowly faded to nothing.

Faith nodded "Yes. Yes, I think, I am."

But if she really was, she didn't know and while Gilbert lead her downstairs, she almost turned around and ran away. Because, thinking this over, marriage was a very big step and that she'd waited for years for this day to come didn't necessarily mean that she was ready.

Additionally, she had never thought this over. She had dreamed and fantasised, yes, but never really thought about it, much less weighed it up. And wasn't a Pro- and Contra-list necessary, too?

Someone in London had told her once that it was essential – really essential. And she, Faith, had laughed it off and had never thought about it afterwards. Now she wished, she _had_ done it.

And thinking about her domestic skills... about her skill with children – or lack thereof... and about _Jem_ and what an awful wife she was going to be... Faith quickly pushed the thoughts aside.

"You'll see, it'll work out for the best" Gilbert tried to cheer her up, before opening the door and leading her inside the manse's living-room.

But his comment didn't help Faith one bit. She was still nervous and full of doubts about herself. If anything, she panicked even more.

And now she was walking down the improvised aisle, looking at the faces of family, friends and neighbours, then towards the bridesmaids, from Rilla to her father and Jerry and lastly to the groomsmen. She avoided looking at Jem.

From somewhere she could hear Gertrude Grant playing the piano, which she had insisted to do, despite her well advanced pregnancy. Faith distantly remembered the baby to be due in July.

The guests whispered softly, making the bride, who couldn't understand a word of it, even more self-conscious, even though in reality they were only talking about her beauty, even more radiant today than on normal days, and what a nice pair she and Jem were.

Too fast, at least in Faith opinion, the walk along the aisle ended and she stood in front of her father. Gilbert lifted her veil and kissed her fore-head, then left for his place.

A soft rustling told Faith that Rilla was re-arranging the veil, then her own father kissed her and she gave her bouquet to her Maid of Honour. Turning slightly she could see Rilla smile an encouraging smile before withdrawing.

Faith breathed deeply and then, for the first time today, turned towards Jem. He tried to grin and from what she saw Faith could tell that he was just as nervous as she was – if not more.

And somehow this calmed her more than anything. Gilbert had been right. Everything was going to work out in the end.

Faith smiled back at her husband-to-be, now completely calm self-confident and it seemed as if her calmness transmitted onto him. Then her father began with the ceremony and both turned towards him.

And from then on, everything _did_ work out. Firstly they both said their vows, the rings were exchanged and lastly Jem kissed his new wife. And just like that they were married.

Afterwards the bridal couple accepted countless of good wishes and after the seemingly endless line did end, they made their was towards Rainbow Valley.

Susan had, of course, been convinced that it was hardly a proper place for a wedding reception ("...and that you may tie to, Mrs. Dr. Dear."), but had been outvoted by a crushing majority and therefore Rainbow Valley it was.

The celebrations were opened by a banquet, which was so large Faith couldn't help but wonder when and where everything had been cooked, and after everyone was indeed full, some speeches were made.

Gilbert and John, of course, each insisted on holding one on the newlywed couple and Jerry and Rilla, too, seemed to regard it as their job.

Lastly Jem said a few words, a bit clumsy surely and an additional proof that he surely wasn't a great talker, but so touching and true and so much _Jem_, that they still stirred Faith to tears.

After the speeches had been made and dusk began to set in, a small band, thrown together very randomly, stroke up and Jem led Faith on the dance floor (which was nothing but plain grass in their case).

And while Faith lay in the arms of her husband, slowly dancing to the music, she wondered how she could ever have been close to doubt this – close to doubt _them_. It seemed unthinkable now.

A third of the dance was over and Anne and John came up to them, meaning the couple had to separate. The dance floor filled up, too, with bridesmaids and groomsmen, Maid of Honour and best man, Gilbert and Rosemary.

The next third passed and Faith now danced with her father-in-law. Out of the corner of her eyes Faith could see Ken and Jerry boycotting the protocol and swapping partners as well.

Just as the dance ended, Jem took over from his father and for some time he and Faith danced silently. Then, suddenly, Jem asked softly "Are you happy, Faith?"

Faith didn't trust her voice to speak, so she just smiled and her smile was just the answer Jem wanted.


	13. A drop of bitterness

**A drop of bitterness**

After the wedding Jem and Faith left for a three week long Honeymoon to New York and spent the rest of the summer settling down in their new home, which Jem had bought with the money his father had lend him.

Of course Gilbert had offered to pay for it completely and give it to the young couple as a wedding present or for them to stay in Ingleside as long as they wanted, but Jem had declined both offers, wanting to do things by himself finally.

The house itself was the very same he and Faith had their eyes on since before the war. It was small, painted in a soft yellow colour and stood on a hill not far from Ingleside and the manse, overlooking Rainbow Valley, which was why Faith had named it _Fairview_.

It didn't take them long to settle down and they were what Carl liked to call "disgustingly happy". Rounding off their happiness was an announcement Jem made on a mild evening in late August, while they and both their families were dining in the manse: Faith was pregnant.

Naturally everyone was delighted, even tough Jerry, upon learning that the child was due in March, only a month after Rilla's and Ken's wedding, did remark that there would be quite a lot of important events at once.

It was Carl, who voiced a thought that had crossed almost everyone's mind saying "Quite a hurry you were in, weren't you?"

"Maybe" Jem responded, taking the comment in good humour, "but afterwards it's Ken and Rilla's turn anyway."

Ken, too, laughed, but Rilla merely managed a half-smile and quickly changed the topic.

Sure, she couldn't help but notice how _happy_ Faith was and small Oliver Robert Grant, whom, since his birth a month ago, Rilla had seen twice already, was a dear, but the child-bearing she would've rather left for someone else.

But then again, she had to marry first anyway and the wedding wasn't until February, which, she remembered herself both disappointed and relieved, still was months away.

And those months passed at top speed. Autumn came and went, then winter, accompanied by Christmas, which was celebrated at the manse with the Merediths, but without the Fords, and then the New Year began.

In early January both Anne and Rilla travelled to Toronto to help with the last preparations for the wedding, which would be held just there in the middle of February.

Rilla herself wasn't sure if she liked to marry anywhere else than her childhood-home, but such thoughts she only confided to her diary. It had seemed important to Ken after all and Owen had made it quite clear as well, that his only son was to be married in Toronto and nowhere else.

That was why Rilla had agreed, even though she herself would have preferred a small wedding in Ingleside, with only family and the closest friends attending, to the one she was going to have.

But she had agreed and couldn't back out anymore, not even after the 'bigger affair' Ken had talked about turned out to be a full-fledged Society-wedding. Apparently the Fords had so much money, reputation and influence in Toronto that people expected their only son to have a wedding like this.

And so Rilla, who hardly had any say in it, remained silent, smiled composedly and thought a bit wistful of Faith and Jem's wedding every time someone presented her with too many, identical looking flowers, out of which she randomly picked some, just to witness others being used in the end.

Or whenever she stood on a low table for hours, arms stretched out, having three dressmakers sewing on a wedding dress she couldn't remember picking out, much less wanting, or when something similar happened.

But _that_ Rilla thought to be bearable compared to the looks she received from the women she was introduced to, telling her oh so clearly what they thought of this 'Island-girl'.

The younger ones, Rilla's bridesmaids included, went even further, shooting pointed, spiteful comments in her direction whenever possible.

And Rilla acted like she usually did in such situations; she held her head a bit higher, stood a bit straighter, smiled a bit more distanced and by doing so gained herself the reputation of being arrogant, thus worsening everything further without meaning to.

It was worst with Alice Stewart, a very rich girl related to the Fords through Barbara Ford, whose younger brother's youngest daughter Alice was. Barbara had been the second wife of Owen's father and it had been her idea to name her niece after the late Alice Ford, her husband's first and, according to those who had known him, only love.

Persis had told Rilla, that Alice was one of Ken's former girlfriends and had been quite sure that, upon returning from the war, he would marry her. The 'Island-girl' thus was completely inconvenient for Alice, personifying everything hat stood in-between her and her aims, and Rilla couldn't shake the feeling that Alice wanted to make her pay for it.

Faith, in whom Rilla confided by letter when she couldn't take it anymore, wrote back that Alice was 'simply jealous and definitely not worth to be taken any notice of'. She advised Rilla to 'just ignore' the other women, because in the end she was there for 'Ken and the wedding in the end and for them only', wasn't she?

Rilla put the letter aside sighing, because, as much as she tried, Faith couldn't really understand and the fact, that Ken, in contrast to Alice Stewart, hardly ever was at the Ford's mansion, made things even worse.

Sometimes Rilla saw him late in the evening for a few minutes, on good days even for an hour or two, and the more time passed the more she got the feeling that those rare, precious moments were the only things keeping her going.

But even they couldn't serve as a shelter for too long, because it was impossible to hide her loss of weight, her overall ill and strained appearance and her general unhappiness from Ken and to avoid his questions she let herself be excused more and more frequently, when he came to pick her up for a short walk.

Instead she fled to the garden for a few minutes as often as she could, hoping to be left alone there, so that she could regain her dignity again and it was just where she was on an afternoon in early February after things had gotten too bad over tea and biscuits.

It had started with Victoria, the less nice of Owen's sisters, remarking how thin and ill Rilla looked. Rilla had answered with a smile, she hoped to be convincing, and her usual answer "I'm just so excited because of the wedding."

Victoria had laughed falsely and asked "And you really want to marry our dear Kenneth?"

"More than anything else" Rilla had answered, meaning every word she'd said.

And while Victoria had been either satisfied or silenced by the answer, Alice Stewart had seen another chance to embarrass the 'Island-girl'.

"'More than anything else'" she had repeated, smiling maliciously, "how _sweet_!"

And the way she'd said them, the perfectly truthful words had suddenly sounded foolish, stupid and naive. Only minutes later Rilla had excused herself and fled into the garden.

Now she sat on a bank, watching the wind playing in trees and the sun making her way through the clouds, when someone joined her.

"It will become easier" Leslie calmly promised, "someday it'll all become easier. You'll learn their little game, their rules. You'll learn to ignore them."

"Hardly imaginable" Rilla replied dryly and turned her head away from the trees to face her future mother-in-law.

Leslie laughed quietly "That's what I thought, when Persis – Persis Gardner, Owen's youngest sister, not my Pers – told me the same just before my own wedding, but she was right in the end. It became bearable after a while."

"Probably" Rilla sighed, "but it just seems so... hard. Like what happened inside... I really meant what I said and then that Alice repeated it and suddenly I felt so terribly _foolish_..." She broke off and shook her head resignedly.

Leslie smiled sympathetically "Yes, Alice Stewart is one of the worst kind and sadly I have to say, that you'll never get rid of her. Your whole life she'll be there, never failing to remind you, that you'll never be good enough for your own husband." Now it was her turn to sigh.

"You sound like you know it by experience" Rilla remarked cautiously, but not without curiosity in her voice.

"I do. The only difference is that my 'Alice Stewart' is named 'Victoria Ford' – 'Russell', by now – and is no rejected sweetheart of my husband, but his sister, which is just as bad" Leslie admitted, "with Persis – Gardner again – on the other hand, I always got along very well. Still do, for that matter."

"And you really think all this will become bearable?" Rilla asked, making an extensive gesture, indicating that she not as much meant the garden as Toronto as a whole with its people and life-style in it.

"Yes" Leslie nodded, smiling again, "and until it does, all you have to do is constantly remind yourself what you're here for, that Ken loves you and that Pers and I will help you, whenever you need us to."

Rilla returned the smile and was about to respond and thank her, but Leslie still had two requests to make.

"Besides, I wanted to ask you to stop avoiding my son. I can see why you do it, but he is blaming himself for the troubles you have here. Will you? Hm, that's good. And the other thing is" she smiled amusedly now, "you have to start eating again or the dressmakers will go mad over permanently having to change your dress."

And at that, even Rilla had to laugh.


	14. Smiling

**Smiling**

Ken pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes and knocked on the door of one of the guest rooms in his parent's house, where Rilla and Anne currently resided, even though he wasn't sure if it had been a wise thing to come. After all Rilla had had him sent away the last times and furthermore it _was_ rather late.

He had, due to both his family's relationships and his remarkably good leaving certificate, gotten a job at an renowned newspaper in Toronto immediately upon graduating, which on one hand was, of course, very good, but on the other also proved to be very time-consuming.

Especially right now, with the wedding and the following honeymoon coming up, he had to work twice as much and therefore on most days hardly came home before nine o'clock in the evenings.

Today proved to be no exception and a quick glance at his watch told Ken that it was shortly before ten o'clock already.

Just at that moment the door opened and, like so often in the last few days, Ken was greeted by Anne with a friendly "Hello Kenneth".

"Good evening" he nodded politely, "is Rilla there, by any chance?"

Anne never got the chance to answer, because just then Rilla herself appeared in the doorway, carrying her coat and hat.

"Say Ken, do you even realise how _late_ it is? I've waited for _ages_!" she exclaimed, pretending to be angry with him, but her eyes were twinkling merrily.

If Ken was surprised by her presence and her obviously good mood, he didn't let it show, but instead apologised "I'm sorry. There were some problems with tomorrow's issue I had to take care of."

"Well, it seems as if I'd better get used to sentences like this one, right Mother?" Rilla asked challengingly, but without so much as a side-glance at her fiancé.

Anne chose not to say anything, but laughed softly and handed Rilla her gloves, which she took with a grateful smile.

"We'll be going then" Ken informed his future mother-in-law, "I'll have her back in an hour or so."

"All right. Have fun, you two" Anne wished, before closing the door and leaving Ken and Rilla to themselves.

They wandered along the streets of Toronto, with Rilla talking cheerfully over this and that and Ken listening silently and watching her.

"...and then Persis and I..." Rilla stopped her chatting and looked up at Ken.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

Ken shook his head no "Nothing, why?"

"Well, you've been starring at me the whole time" Rilla explained, "so either I'm looking strange or something _is_ the matter."

"You're looking not strange, but very pretty and I like your hair best, when it's down anyway" Ken responded, evading her question.

Rilla laughed "Oh, if that's the case, I'll make sure to remember it."

"I do hope so" he grinned.

"_But_" Rilla continued, ignoring him, "if it is not my looks, then there has to be something else."

"I just thought that you haven't been this happy and carefree for a very long time now" Ken answered, serious again.

Rilla nodded thoughtfully "You're right, I guess. You see, I had some troubles getting used to Toronto, the lifestyle and the people here, but today I talked to your mother and she helped me very much."

"How so?" Ken enquired.

"She helped me to realise, what really is important" Rilla explained, "that I'm here to marry you and that it's worth it and... and that it's never as bad as it seems."

"So you'll be all right?" Ken asked, clearly concerned, "because if I can help you somehow..."

"No, it's fine. I'm just a bit stressed at the moment, but it'll sort itself out, I'm sure" Rilla assured him and smiled, as if to further prove her words.

"All right. Now, close your eyes please" Ken commanded grinning.

Rilla obviously was confused by his request, but did as she was told to anyhow and let Ken lead her. She heard him open and either a door or a gate and felt the pavement turn into a path made of pebbles.

"Don't look" Ken warned and led Rilla some further steps, before putting his hands in front of her eyes.

"Any idea what I want to show you?" he asked quietly.

Rilla shrugged. "No idea" she responded truthfully, just as Ken took his hands away.

Rilla blinked. She stood in the midst of a poplar-avenue, at whose end a flower-roundel and a small fountain were to be seen, overshadowed by a big, white mansion.

"Our new home" Ken answered her unspoken question, took her hand in his and gently led her forward.

"Our... home?" Rilla repeated slowly, then asked "and how _did_ you pay for it?"

"Leave that to me, Rilla-my-Rilla" Ken replied nonchalantly and led her up the open stairs, "more importantly, do you like it?"

"It's beautiful" Rilla said softly and let her fingertips glide along the stony banisters.

"That it is and even more so inside" Ken agreed, while fumbling with a bunch of keys, "plus, it's not far from my parent's house, which means that it's a bit on the outskirts, but also that it has a really big garden for our children to play in."

Said garden and the house itself he showed Rilla during the next hour and she seemed to be more fascinated with each room they passed through. There was the necessary furniture, but the house lacked a personal note, especially in the private rooms on the first floor and Rilla thought to herself that there still was a good amount of work to do.

"Does it have a name?" she asked Ken later, while they were strolling through the garden, that had turned out to be even bigger than Ken had said and was just as beautiful as the mansion itself was.

"The house? I don't know. I think, it was named after the previous possessors, but since the last one of them died month ago we're free to re-name it. Any suggestions?" he looked at her expectantly.

Thoughtfully Rilla looked around, at the house, the flower beds and the trees, lightly swaying with the wind, reminding her of a poem Walter had written years earlier: Gates of the Wind.

"_Windgates_" she said softly, "it shall be named Windgates." And Windgates it was.

During the next few days she and Ken went to their new home as often as they could to sit in the garden or stroll through the house, imagining their future together in a fashion only lovers could.

Sadly, their time of togetherness was limited, due to Ken working continuously and Rilla being busy with the last wedding preparations.

First there were problems with the guest list, then someone had mixed up their order and delivered the wrong flowers, one of the seamstresses had made a mistake with the fitting of the wedding dress and lastly problems regarding the wedding cake arose, but finally everything had been solved and the wedding day could come.

It was the 14th of February – Valentine's Day, because of the additional romance and such. Rilla couldn't remember ever expressing the wish to be married on Valentine's Day or hearing anything like it from Ken, but in the end it was just fine by her.

In the morning of that very day one of the maids woke Rilla almost outrageously early and an hour-lasting procedure to get the bride ready for her wedding began, with the hairstyle, an elegant up-do, refined by pearls sewn into it, being most lavish and time-consuming. Rilla herself just sat still and let everything happen, regardless of what it was.

Some time later the bridesmaids joined them, among them Persis, the Maid of Honour, and Nan, without Di this time, who had, with reference to the old saying, opted to be a bridesmaid on her twin's wedding instead of Rilla's, and several other girls, Rilla hardly knew.

Chatting and laughing gaily the bridesmaids dressed and styled themselves and especially Alice Stewart dropped a few spiteful little comments towards the bride, but Rilla just smiled and thought of Ken and Windgates and suddenly those words couldn't hurt her any longer.

Just as she came to that conclusion, she heard a voice, calling and greeting her. Upon turning around, Rilla found herself face to face with her beaming sister-in-law.

"Faith!" she exclaimed, "you can't imagine how happy I am to see you right now."

Just like the rest of the bride's family and friends, Faith had arrived during the previous night and Rilla hadn't had a chance to see any of them, despite Nan, so far.

"So, are you excited?" Faith asked and cumbersomely sat down in the chair Rilla had cleared for her. Her baby was due in a month and it got harder and harder for her to move normally.

"Yes" Rilla nodded, "but I'm even more happy. You, too, I guess?" She nodded towards Faith' rounded waist.

Her friend beamed "Of course! Jem's completely convinced that it'll be a boy, but I think..."

Rilla never learned what Faith thought though, since just then a maid entered the room, announcing that the ceremony was about to begin. The bridesmaids lined up, still giggling, and Faith left with the promise, that they would talk later.

And suddenly Rilla was alone. She knew, that she was supposed to leave, that outside her father waited for her and several hundred others down in the salon, but she didn't move.

She looked at her bouquet, made of white roses (innocence), white carnations (love) and white chrysanthemums (truth), then in the mirror. Looking back was a beautiful, elegant woman, in whom Rilla saw anyone, but herself.

She sighed quietly, reached up to adjust the veil over her face, but stopped mid-track. Two, three seconds later she had pulled out the silver combs and needles holding her hair in place and her brown locks fell down her back, pearls still sewn in.

It would be a scandal, that Rilla knew, but strangely enough she didn't care. Didn't Ken say he liked her hair down best? And wasn't Ken the sole reason for her being here? He was.

Rilla nodded to her reflection, that suddenly looked like her again, adjusted the veil, reached for the bouquet and left the room, a small smile playing on her lips.


	15. Forever and a day

**Forever and a day**

Rilla was right. Her hairstyle – or lack thereof – proved to be a real scandal and was _the_ topic of conversation among the wedding guests. But strangely enough the bride herself didn't care in the least.

What did it matter to her anyway, when those people she hardly knew at all found faults with her appearance? Those, whose opinion did matter to her, thought it to be funny more than anything else.

Sure enough, Jem and Shirley shared a meaningful look, Carl made a teasing comment, Nan exclaimed "Rilla, what on earth happened to your hair?" and Una looked quite scandalised, but that was about everything even close to negative.

Faith, for example, upon seeing Rilla walk down the aisle, laughed softly and winked at her, making clear that she understood.

Ken himself smiled amusedly, too, and, just before giving his bride the all-sealing kiss, brushed a strand of hair out of her face, triggering the next scandal by doing so.

The reaction Rilla thought to be nicest came from Leslie though, who, while the guests danced and ate and talked, asked her for a few words in private.

Instead of reproach though, Rilla got praise. Praise for her courage, for not giving in and for not letting herself be bent and shaped into something she wasn't.

Then Leslie talked of her own wedding, so much like the one they were celebrating now, and entrusted Rilla with her own break of protocol: daring to wear a crimson cloth winded around her waist.

And Rilla, like so often in the last few weeks, felt a little better after speaking to her mother-in-law, simply because Leslie _understood_.

She understood what it meant to be ripped from a quiet life on the Island and thrown into big, turbulent Toronto, where there were people, with whom you didn't get along, rules and an etiquette, which you didn't know or understand, and a wedding you surely didn't wish to be _that_ way.

And all this just for a man, who went and stole your heart, without even so much as asking for permission. "But" Leslie finished smiling, "the Fords always had a weakness for girls from the Island. First Owen's mother, then me, now you... I'm quite curious who your sons will choose."

Rilla laughed, looking so beautiful that the guests near them thought to themselves that one could accuse Kenneth Ford of many things, but bad taste surely wasn't among them.

The wedding presents, which were handed out shortly after Rilla and Leslie's talk, all proved to be as luxurious as the wedding itself was, but most generous was the one from the groom's parents – the House of Dreams.

"I have to admit that it's not easy for me to part from this place, where I spent some of the happiest days of my life" Leslie had said somewhat melancholy, "but I remember how important it was for me to still have a home on the Island and I can imagine that you feel the same way, Rilla."

Rilla, surprisingly to no-one but herself, did feel the same way, as she affirmed through moved words of thanking.

Much later that evening, after the feast had broken up and Kenneth was driving his wife home in a car his aunts and uncles had given them, he asked her if she had enjoyed their wedding.

"Yes. Yes I did" Rilla answered pensively, "It was very nice, beautiful even. And I guess, somehow every woman is dreaming of being a fairytale princess just once, having her very own Knight in Shining Armour and all her wishes fulfilled. Tonight I was that princess and I enjoyed it, but... I think I'll stick to being Rilla Blythe."

"Ford" Ken corrected with a mischievous look cast in her direction, "Rilla Ford."

Then, before she had a chance to react, he leaned over and quickly kissed her on the lips.

"Look on the road!" Rilla chided, but couldn't quite keep the laughter out of her voice, even less so as Ken remarked rather casually "By the way, I really liked how you wore your hair today."

On the next day at noon Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Ford left for their honeymoon, which, after she had asked Ken about duration and destination during breakfast, got Rilla astonished in advance.

His _very_ casual answer had been "A tour of Europe. Ten weeks approximately. You'll enjoy it, I'm sure", causing his wife to choke on her orange juice.

Ken was right though. Rilla was full of amazement over the 'Old World', whereas Ken, who had been in Europe several times before the war, was content with showing his wife around and delighted in her almost childish enthusiasm.

Married life, too, proved to be altogether pleasing, since they were still in the blissful phase most newlyweds experience shortly after their wedding.

The ten weeks Rilla had thought to be long at first, passed quickly and too soon for her liking it was time to return home again.

Back in Glen, though, waited something – or rather: someone – to make her return more pleasant: James Gerald Blythe, born on the 21st of March and the pride and joy of his parents.

Ken had to go back to Toronto, so he just dropped Rilla off in Glen for a few days so she could spend some time with her family and, more importantly, her new nephew.

Little 'Jamie', as he was commonly called, had been baptised the best fitting name possible, as he looked a lot like both his father and his uncle, most notably having Jerry's black hair and Jem's hazel eyes.

"I planned to name him for Father at first" Faith told Rilla, while they sat in the parlour of Fairview, drinking tea and catching up on the last two month.

Rilla nodded "I know. We all did, I guess. That's why your ultimate choice created so much wonder among everyone."

"The moment they put him into my arms the first time I knew he was to be named James Gerald and nothing else. He just looks so much like them." Gently Faith stroked her sleeping son's hair, causing Rilla's heart to make a strange back-flip.

"But isn't Jerry the very image of your father?" she asked, sipping on her tea.

Faith nodded "Mostly, yes. He has Mummy's hair, though. Una got Father's. It's a lot finer and thinner than that of Mummy, Jerry and Little Jamie here. Frankly speaking..."

She interrupted herself, seemingly lost in a memory, a fond, but somewhat sad smile playing on her lips. It took a few moments for Faith to compose herself and continue.

"Frankly speaking it's one of the liveliest memories of Mummy I have. Her hair, I mean. She had splendid hair, long and black and thick, and every night, after she had undone it, she called Una and me and let us brush and braid it. Every night – until the very end."

"But" she continued after another pause, more cheerful, as if to finish the topic, "I promised Father to name my second son for him. And there'd better be no-one to forestall me!"

Rilla laughed along with Faith, but very fast became serious again "That's... that's what I think about..."

"I know" Faith said sympathetically, "I can't say I didn't think once about naming him Walter – before he was born, I mean – but then I realised... that's for you or Di to do – you probably, as it's likely that you'll beat her to it, but surely for no-one else."

"Thanks" Rilla smiled slightly, but seemed lost in thought still.

"We were in Courcelette, you know. Ken and I. Visiting his grave. Shortly before we went to Paris" she said after a while, still absent-mindedly, "it was... peaceful and disturbing at the same time. As if... as if seeing his grave made his... his _death_ real, final, unalterable."

She sat still, staring into space, as if she was glancing at something beyond and slowly a barely visible smile stole itself upon her lips.

"That day, at Courcelette" she continued softly, "that was the day I realised... that I'm going to... going to have a baby."

Rilla's face broke into a real smile and Faith, too, seemed genuinely happy for her friend.

"How are you feeling?" she asked curiously.

"I'm ridiculously happy" Rilla admitted, "and Ken even more so, it seems. He tends to wrap me in cotton wool, though."

"Jem did that, too. It's normal, I guess" Faith dismissed Rilla's slight complaint, "more importantly: when is it due?"

"In the middle of December, the doctor in Paris said" Rilla answered, still smiling happily, "it's a strange thought; me, being a _real_ mother. It feels nice, though and... it made everything easier. Seeing Walter's grave, I mean. As if... as if God send us this child to show us that life goes on, no matter what..."


	16. Blank Pages

**Blank Pages**

Just like they had in every year after the war, everyone again came home to the Glen during the summer months.

Una was very committed to the Glen, especially to the Presbyterian parish, and also helped her sister a lot, continuing Rilla's household-lessons and looking after her little nephew.

Jerry and Nan on the other hand, who were to be married next summer, spent most of their time sweethearting and imagining their future together in such a shimmering, glittering fashion even Nan's overflowing fantasy was sure to run out in reasonable time.

Faith and Jem still lived happily in their little house, even though Jem's work started to increase and Faith found herself spending more and more nights alone in their living-room, waiting for her husband, who seldom returned before midnight.

Rilla and Ken's life was somewhere in between pure joy and literal thunderstorms, accompanied by fierce arguments, for which Rilla's immense mood-swings were to blame at least partly.

Shirley and Persis, whose friendship had grown much stronger and deeper over the years, were still linked together by the gossips of Glen, something both denied fervently, with Persis referring to her countless admirers in Toronto and Shirley just grinning slightly, as if at his own private joke.

Di and Carl were the only ones, who did not have to struggle with love-affairs, as Di was content with teaching and amusing herself over the petty little problems of her siblings, and because no-one could imagine _Carl_ marrying in the foreseeable future – or at all, for that matter. They'd soon find out just _how_ wrong they were...

He didn't give any notice of his arrival, just stood there in the manse-living-room one day, grinning like the much quoted Cheshire-cat and announced "Father, Mother Rosemary, I'd like you to meet someone."

He gestured towards a young woman in a dark, worn-out coat standing slightly behind him, her fiery red hair barely tamed and stuffed under a hat, her steely, cobalt-blue eyes looking shy and uncertain.

She stood in the door-way, as if afraid to come closer, clinging to her much used and slightly battered looking leather-suitcase. She had a shy smile on her lips, but was looking around the room in a rather hectic way.

John and Rosemary shared a look. Who was this girl? Where did she came from? And why exactly did Carl bring her?

Their son, sensing their confusion, grinned even broader, paused for a few seconds, just for the effect, before saying "Meet Jane Meredith – my wife."

What followed, was silence. They had expected everything – it was _Carl_ after all – but surely not _that_. Insects and reptiles, cheeky comments and even the trench rat 'Cracker', he had smuggled back to Canada were one thing – a secret marriage was a whole other story.

Before the minister and his wife could comprehend the news, Una entered the room, greeting her younger brother.

"Carl" she exclaimed and hugged him "you're back!"

Only then she noticed the unknown woman still standing in the door-way, clutching her suitcase.

"Did something happen?" Una asked, suddenly alarmed and looked back and forth between her parents and her brother. They didn't answer.

"Carl got married" another voice chimed in instead, this one belonging to Bruce, who had sat in a corner of the room the whole time, unnoticed until now, as he often was.

"Married?" slowly Una turned to look at her younger brother, who grinned back at her, seeming amused by the confusion he had caused.

"Who got married _this time_?" Jerry asked, while entering the room through the back-door, having just come back from a walk with Nan, "oh, hello Carl. Good evening Miss..."

"Mrs." Carl helped out casually, "Meredith."

"Good evening, Mrs. Mere..." Jerry broke off and whirled around to look at Carl, "Meredith? MRS. Meredith? Do you want to tell me something, little brother?"

"Tell you something? Why on earth would I want to tell you something?" Carl mocked, but upon seeing the less than amused look on Jerry's face, nodded slowly, "well, maybe you're right... see, this is Jane, my wife. Jane, Jerry, my oh so dear brother."

"Hello" Jane greeted shyly, uttering her first word since arriving at the manse.

Jerry just stared at her in return, seemingly too shocked to form a proper sentence.

"Cat got your tongue?" Carl asked mildly interested, but by now Rosemary had composed herself and stepped forward, ignoring his comment.

"Welcome in Glen, dear" she addressed Jane, smiling gently, "I hope you will enjoy your stay here."

Jane smiled back at her, more relaxed now, seeming happy to finally be taken notice of and friendly at that.

"I'm Rosemary, Carl's step-mother" Rosemary continued, "This is John, his father. His brothers, Jerry and Bruce and Una, one of his sisters. Faith, the older one..."

"...lives not far from here with her husband and baby-boy" Jane completed smiling, "I know. Carl told me."

"May I ask, when you two married? And why did no-one inform us?" John wanted to know now, having recovered from his shock, too.

"May" Carl answered, shrugging slightly, "the third, to be exact. It was very spontaneous. Just the minister, Jane and myself."

"And your family wasn't present either?" Rosemary asked and offered her daughter-in-law a seat, while Una took her coat. Jerry and Carl excused themselves to bring the suitcases upstairs.

"I... I don't have a family. Not anymore" Jane answered softly, "they died in a train crash, almost nine years ago. My parents and my little brother, I mean. I was just eleven back then."

"I'm sorry" Rosemary said sympathetically and Una gently squeezed the younger woman's shoulder, offering every support she had to give.

"It's fine" Jane managed a brave smile, obviously wanting to bring a close to the topic.

"And how did you meet my son?" John asked after a short, but slightly uncomfortable pause.

"I work in a café in Vancouver and one day in January Carl came in and because there were no other guests we just started talking and somehow he came by more and more often after that, sometimes every day. And then we went out once, twice, then almost every weekend and..." Jane shrugged somewhat helplessly.

"One thing led to another, I guess and in May Carl suddenly said we should marry and... well, here we are" she laughed a nervous little laugh and shrugged again.

"I'm happy to welcome you in our family then, Jane" John said and Rosemary smiled warmly and suddenly Jane thought that it would be indeed very nice to have a family again.

Carl's friends accepted the new Mrs. Meredith without asking too many questions and with her sweet, friendly nature – and her red hair, of course – Jane blended in quite nicely.

Carl himself almost burst with pride over his bride, but still listened quite closely to Ken and Jem giving him 'tips for a happy marriage'.

When Jem said something along the lines of "your wife is more important then anything else, even your work" though, Faith burst out laughing and even Jem realised what a fool he made of himself and he did his best to avoid the topic for the rest of the summer.

As always, those short two months passed much too quickly, though they did have a nice ending with the birth of small Thomas Douglas, Mary and Miller's second son, on the 9th of September, just three days before the first birthday of his older brother Alec.

And months later, when Rilla sat in front of the fireplace in the House of Dreams, watching the slight rain dripping on the window, the mere memory of that summer still brought a smile to her lips.

Slowly though it faded as she remembered something entirely different. Still looking out of the window at the rainy garden, Rilla's thought drifted off to the war.

The day after tomorrow would be the 11th of November, third anniversary of the Armistice, of the day the war finally ended after causing so much death and despair.

For a minute or maybe two, Rilla sat still, thinking back on those days, then she signed softly and turned away from the window, looking at the poppies already sitting on the table next to her. Slowly Rilla reached out to touch them, but jerked her hand back seconds later.

She frowned, slightly irritated. She'd had those contractions fairly often in the last few weeks even if the birth itself was still more than a month away, and it was why they were in Glen already, as Rilla was determined to at least bear her first child on the island.

She waited for the pain to pass, then sighed again and reached for her book, sitting on the table next to the poppies and a cup of tea.

Just minutes later she felt another contraction, followed by a third, which made her drop the tea-cup on the floor, breaking it.

It took Ken, who had worked in his office, only about ten seconds to reach his wife's side.

"Are you all right?" he asked concerned after seeing the look on her face, kneeling down next to her and gently taking the book she still clutched in her hands.

"I think" Rilla said slowly "that you ought to call Jem and Father..."


	17. Shading light and lighting shadows

**Shading light and lighting shadows**

Ken immediately called Jem, who came down to the House of Dreams with both his wife and his son and quickly took control over the situation. He instructed Ken to bring Rilla upstairs and told Faith to boil some water.

There was no actual reason for anyone to assume that this birth wouldn't go well, but something – perhaps the scared look in his sister's face or the fact, that this baby would be over a month early or maybe just some kind of premonition – caused Jem to call his father.

Gilbert came and Anne along with him. She settled herself in the living-room, where Faith already sat with her sleeping son in her lap. Gilbert went upstairs and seconds later Ken came down and disappeared inside his study – and by the look in his face both Mrs. Dr. Blythes realised that it was going to be a long and hard fight.

Night fell quickly and slowly passed by.

In the early morning hours Faith had fallen asleep on the sofa out of sheer exhaustion, holding her son tightly, while Anne waited on, unable to even think of sleeping until she knew her own child to be alive and well.

Ken never left his study and neither did Jem and Gilbert leave Rilla's side, save for once, when Gilbert came down just to call Dr. Parker from Lowbridge for help.

He put down the receiver, stood still for a few moments, then looked up to met his wife's anxious gaze and shook his head ever so slightly, before turning around to go upstairs again. And the cold hand of fear clutched Anne's heart a bit tighter.

Faith awoke not long ago and one hopeful, even begging look into the eyes of her mother-in-law told her all she needed to know.

Anne then got up and called Ingleside to inform the sorrowful family there of the night's happenings – or what little she knew of them. Faith at the same time took care of Jamie and then prepared a light breakfast, which no-one ate.

Around nine o'clock the doorbell rang and Dr. Parker was left in and taken upstairs by Gilbert, who sent Jem to bed, so he could gather some strength and later relieve his father. They all expected this to take well into the next night.

Owen and Leslie, who had been in Ingleside the previous evening and had stayed there through the night, came around noon, but could do as little to help as Anne and Faith could and left after a few hours without any notice.

They took Faith and Jamie with them, even though the former had protested fiercely, but Anne had been adamant, something life with six children had taught her well, and so Faith went, promising to return in a few hours for another night-watch.

Una and Persis came next, so that Anne could have a rest in the guest-room, and were not long after joined by Owen, Leslie, Faith – without Jamie though – and even Shirley, who had come down from Redmond a few days ago for some yet unknown reason.

Still no notice from upstairs.

Through most of the night it was silent in the parlour of the small white house by the sea, but when at midnight the bells of the Methodists' church were heard ringing, Shirley broke the silence.

"'The eleventh day of the eleventh month'" he quoted, "it's Armistice Day."

Then he laughed. Laughed so bitterly and humourless that Una, sitting next to him, instinctively backed away.

"Persis and I" Shirley continued, not taking any notice of Una's reaction, "planned to announce our engagement today."

Persis sighed.

The others, save those, who had fallen into a slight doze, looked up, nodded slightly or murmured some something inaudible. It was hardly the right time for congratulations.

"It's terrible" Leslie said after a few moments, "it's been three years to the day since the war has ended. Of course, it's hardly a day for celebrations, but it should not be like _this_ either... and now you two are engaged..." She sighed softly.

There was no response. Upstairs a door was opened and through the silence Gilbert was heard, talking to Dr. Parker or Jem or maybe both of them. There was no sound from Rilla. Footsteps on the stairs instead, then Gilbert appearing in the living-room.

"How is she?" Anne asked, peering anxiously at her husband. He shook his head.

"She is very weak. The birth has drawn out most of her strength and we aren't further than we were nine hours ago." Again Gilbert shook his head, resigned.

"The... the child?" Anne sounded almost afraid of asking that certain question.

"Is alive, as far as we can tell. Other than that..." Gilbert trailed off, then walked over to where his case sat and started looking through it, searching for something.

"And what are you going to... do?" Leslie now asked, since no-one else made a move to fill the silence.

Gilbert didn't answer, but held up some kind of silvery instrument. "What...?" Persis started, but was interrupted by a new voice.

"Forceps?"

It was Ken, alarmed by the voices and now standing in the doorway, his face tired but set, not betraying his emotions, making him look composed to the point of indifference, even though they all knew he was anything but.

Leslie, after seeing her son, had jumped to her feet, wanting to go to him, hold him, comfort him somehow, but Owen had held her back by laying a hand on her arm. There was nothing either of them could do anymore.

"It's the only chance we have to save them" Gilbert explained now, looking at his daughter's husband. Ken nodded, not looking at anyone, then walked over to the sofa, sat down and buried his head in his hands.

Gilbert went back upstairs and softly closed the door of the bedroom behind them. Those assembled in the parlour were silent, partly watching Kenneth and waiting for him to react , partly just praying for something, _anything_, to happen.

It was Ken after all, who moved first, standing up and walking over to a cupboard, taking a bottle of whiskey. He poured himself a glass and emptied in one gulp, before pouring another one and sitting back down with it, sipping and starring into space.

An hour later or maybe one a half, the door of the bedroom upstairs was opened again, but instead of eerie silence, a cry was heard. The cry of a child, loud and clear and angry.

"It's over" Persis whispered, as if afraid to talk louder.

"At what cost?" Faith asked back even quieter, voicing the thoughts no-one dared speaking.

Ken looked up, met Faith's gaze, then turned away.

It was Jem, who entered the room, holding not only the crying baby they had already heard, but a second bundle, this one silent.

"A healthy boy" Jem announced, indicating the still loudly protesting child, "and a little girl. She's weak, but she'll live."

Ken slowly stood up, walked over to where his children were and looked at them for a few moments, then turned away, as if unable to endure their mere sight.

"Rilla...?" he didn't, _couldn't_, finish his question, but Jem understood.

"She's alive and..." he hesitated, looked at the others, waiting for him to say 'well' and relieve their fears and instead said, "...conscious."

"I want to see her" Ken said, looking as if he wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. Jem just nodded and handed over the twins to their father, so that he could take them upstairs to where Rilla was.

Gilbert and Dr. Parker tactfully left the room, after Ken had entered, nodding at him, then leaving him alone with his wife and children.

Rilla lay in the bed, pale and weak and unmoving, looking more dead than alive, only confirming that the former wasn't the case by stirring ever so slightly once in a while.

"A boy and a girl" Ken told her quietly, while sitting down on the bed and laying the babies next to their mother, "Jem says they're healthy."

Only then Rilla turned her head, watching her children for some moments, silent, before a slight smile spread on her lips.

"They'll get grey eyes" she stated, "Both of them. Her's will be darker though. Dark grey eyes, like you have them. He will have Walter's. I'm sure he will."

Both babies had light blue eyes and Ken had now idea, how she could be so sure of the way they would turn out, but she seemed sure of it and he wouldn't question her.

"Walter" Rilla now whispered, looking down at her son, then up at her husband, "Walter Kenneth Ford."

"Walter Kenneth Ford" Ken repeated, then he, too, smiled, "it has a ring to it. What about her?"

"I like Leslie, for your mother" Rilla suggested, "and... how about Alice? Because it all kind of began with Alice Selwyn, didn't it?"

"Then Leslie Alice it is" Ken agreed with a nod.

For the next few minutes they were silent, Rilla due to both happiness and exhaustion, Ken out of sheer worry and because he was still trying to make sense of what Jem had said earlier about Rilla being 'alive and conscious'.

She fell asleep after some time and Ken gathered up the babies, also soundly asleep, and quietly left the room to go downstairs, where he handed over the children to their grandmothers and announced the names they had chosen.

He started to retreat again, but before he could, Gilbert silently beckoned him over, led him into the study and closed the door.

"I want to be honest with you, Kenneth" he started, still searching for a way to best express what he had to say, "this birth was... very hard for Rilla and for the babies as well. The boy seems strong and healthy and even though the girl is weaker that I'd like her to be, she, too, will live."

Ken nodded, having heard that from Jem already. "What about Rilla?" he asked hoarsely.

Gilbert sighed. "We can't say for sure, but... she's stronger that we give her credit for and she has already shown us that she can fight if needed. So, while I can't promise anything, both as her doctor and as her father I can tell you, that I expect her to make it."

Again Ken nodded, momentary relieve flooding through him, but then Gilbert spoke again "There's one thing, though... she will never have children again. Another pregnancy would be... more than she can manage. The child would probably die, too."

Gilbert left and Ken sank down on his chair. It had all been too much. The fear for Rilla and their baby – babies –, then relief and joy after their birth, mixed with worry over his wife and now... _that_.

Too much. He sighed. How could it be? How could it be, that so much joy and so much pain were so close together, so tightly intertwined? How could it be, that on one day he was given two children and at the same time had to give up all those, that had been to follow?

And, what if...?

Ken didn't dare finishing the thought, didn't dare thinking about what would happen if Gilbert was wrong, didn't dare wondering if maybe he was not only forced to give up all those future children, that now were never to be, but his wife, too.

The mere thought of it made infertility seem insignificant and Ken swore to God and to himself, that, if Rilla was too survive this, he would never, _never_ regret only having those two children.


	18. Nighttime

**Nighttime**

Rilla opened her eyes.

Outside the house a storm howled, with thunder growling, rain whipping against the windows and a lighting shedding everything in an eerie light for the split of a second.

And yet for a moment Rilla wondered, what exactly had woken her, for it hadn't been the storm, _couldn't_ have been the storm, and then she heard the soft cry from the nursery, one of her babies, frightened surely, needing her.

She cast a look at Kenneth, sleeping soundly, peacefully at her side, then got up, instinctively hugging her arms around her body against the cold and stepped into the adjoining room.

A soft smile spreading over her features she went over to one of the cradles, the yellow one as she knew but couldn't see, and gently lifted her daughter out of it.

Little Ally, as she was commonly called, because as every child she still had to live up to the big name she had been given, immediately cuddled against her mother, content with being tended to or simply happy not to be alone any longer.

Rilla started to walk, talking quietly to the little girl, rocking and soothing her, because even if a storm like that failed to scare her by now, she had been afraid of storm well into her childhood and for a small baby like that they couldn't be anything but frightening.

She continued for some minutes, until Ally seemed asleep, but just when Rilla started to lay the girl back down, she opened her eyes and started crying again, prompting her mother to take her into her arms again and resume her walking.

Minutes passed, perhaps half an hour and yet the baby showed no signs of falling asleep, so after a while Rilla sat down in an old, comfortable rocker by the window, because while seven-month-old Ally was not very heavy, her mother, not having regained her full strength after the hard birth and the following weeks, even harder perhaps, still tired easily.

So they sat, Rilla rocking back and forth, stroking her daughter and thinking of Nan's upcoming wedding to Jerry, a minister himself now, just like his father, and the visit to Glen connected with it, to which Rilla looked forward immensely, not having seen her family for month now and still not being used to it.

And then, just because twins, as Rilla had always known, did anything and everything together, small Walt woke up, too, announcing it with a starling cry, as he usually did in contrast to his much quieter sister.

Balancing Ally on one hip, Rilla somehow managed to get up and take Walt out of his cradle as well, setting both children down on her lap, where the twins, now both wide awake, struck up a conversation in baby talk, or so it seemed to their amused mother, consisting of squeals and cries and other such noises only they could comprehend.

Her children thus occupied, Rilla allowed her thoughts to wander, back to a day in November, _the_ day, the day when, after days of wondering, of not knowing, they had finally informed her of two things.

For one her father had told her that she would live, actually _live_, as strange as it had seemed to her back then, and then there had been Kenneth's news, which had made the thought of having to live almost impossible.

* * *

"_Ken?" Rilla asked her husband, sitting on the edge of her bed, holding small Ally, "Ken, what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing" he answered quickly, too quickly almost, but it wasn't the right time, he decided, though knowing all to well, that the _right time _would probably never come. Not when it came to a topic like that._

_He smiled instead, trying to calm her, reassure her, for he knew all to well, that she suspected something, that she herself knew that it wasn't _nothing_, knew that he was keeping things from her and that she worried, naturally._

_Rilla didn't pry, though, wanting to give him time, perhaps._

"_Shirley and Persis… brilliant news, isn't it?" she asked instead, stroking the head of her son and smiling up at Kenneth, "I mean, who would have thought, really? Two month ago they were still determined that they were 'only friends' and look at them now! Engaged!"_

_She laughed. "But anyway, I think it's the best for both of them. Shirley needs someone, who is happy, who can show him how to enjoy life and I think Persis can do that very well. She in turn needs a man to steady her, to hold her. And our Shirley is just that. Solid as a rock, as Jem would say."_

_Ken nodded. "Yes, you're right. As always." He smiled, a bit teasingly and Rilla laughed again, louder this time, but all too quickly the smile faded from his lips and her laugh had become nothing but a faint echo inside the quiet room, filled with a tension they tried to ignore, but couldn't._

"_But I do hope they won't have children right away" Rilla continued, trying nonetheless to break that tension between them, this strange thing she couldn't explain, but feared, feared so much, "or, if they do, then at least I want them to have a girl first, because in all honesty _I _want to name my next son after your father. What do you think?"_

_She looked at Kenneth and he looked away, out of the window, down at their babies, anywhere but her eyes._

"_Ken?"_

"_Rilla, I…" he stopped, drew a breath, still averting her gaze, "there… there won't be another son for us. Or a daughter either. You… you…"_

_He didn't finish, but there was no need to anyway. She had understood._

_Or perhaps she had always known, deep down inside her, for in her eyes, beneath that broken, anguished look he couldn't bear, Ken thought he could see the terrible knowledge, a knowledge that had been there all thorough though the last few days, ever since he had first laid there children into her arms._

_Yes, Rilla had known. Perhaps earlier than he had, than even Gilbert and Jem had suspected. Perhaps she had known all along._

_And yet, it had not kept her from hoping. Hoping against hope, that she was wrong, that there was a way, _any _way, or maybe just a miracle. _

_He had taken that hope. He could see it, in her eyes, in her face, in the way she suddenly clutched Walt even tighter and turned slightly away from him._

_There was also something else though, an emotion, not quite as strong, but evident on her features and for a moment Ken didn't know what it was, but then he realized._

_Blame._

_For one second Ken thought it was directed at him, that she blamed him for this and he thought it couldn't bear it, not that, but then he understood, understood that she was blaming herself and that, he knew, was even worse._

"_It was an accident" he said, somewhat helpless, "it not your fault, nor anyone else's. There was nothing to be done, Rilla. It's _not your fault_!"_

_She looked at him, silently, broken, and he knew she didn't believe him, would never believe him, regardless of what he said. Perhaps she would come to the realization on her own, in her own time, or perhaps she would not. He couldn't help her, not with this, and that hurt just as bad._

"_We have two beautiful little babies" he told her instead, "and what is equally important, you will be fine. All three of you will be fine. That's all I ever asked for."_

_And Rilla tried to smile, for his sake solely, and sighed, closing her eyes, as if wanting to close them to the world._

* * *

Now, over half a year later, it had become something akin to bearable, Rilla reflected, looking at her babies and dropping a kiss on each soft, fuzzy head, resolving to be thankful for the children she had rather than forever grieving those who were not to be, as hard as that sometime seemed.

She looked up then, at the door, more due to some kind of instinct than anything else and saw Ken standing there, leaning against the door-frame and watching them.

"Hey" he smiled at her.

"Hey. We didn't wake you, did we?" she asked in return, somewhat anxious, hating, as always, to interrupt his sleep, short as it was.

"No" Ken grimaced "Nightmare."

Rilla nodded, knowing those nightmares, knowing them all to well, when in sleep the war returned to her husband and surely to millions of other men all around the world, torturing them with the things seen and done, with the screams of the dying and the eyes of the dead.

Yes, she knew, even if she couldn't, would never be able to actually _imagine_. No-one could.

But she was there, at least, when night after night the nightmares seized Ken, when, sweating and murmuring, sometimes screaming and moaning, he lay in bed, turning wildly, trying to fend of an invisible enemy, perhaps the nightmare itself, perhaps something more horrible, a mixture of memory and imagination so horrible it haunted him still.

"Are you all right?" she asked then and Ken nodded, coming closer.

"Why aren't you in bed? All of you?" he asked in turn, gesturing towards their children, both of them looking up at their father through sleepy eyes, then casting a closer look at his wife "You are freezing."

Rilla shrugged. "Ally woke up because of the storm and then Walt woke up, too, and now they won't go to sleep."

"Perhaps they don't want to be alone" Ken suggested, gathering his son in his arms, "I can understand that. You reckon they can sleep in our bed tonight?"

Rilla nodded, already getting up, and followed Ken into their own room, where they tucked the children in first, then got into bed themselves, Ken putting an arm around Rilla and drawing her close.

Outside the house the storm continued howling with even greater force.


End file.
